Sunday, December 5, 2010

A Hair Raising Experience

One of the most simple routine thing for men has to be getting a Hair-Cut ! But for years together now, For, Your's truly this has been one of the most stressfull, dreaded and un-awaited moment every oder month. ! Even without having a curly mess of hair, the nest on my head has been worthy enough of some jokes, wisecracks from friends and people across my life span and friends, colleagues, cousins and some not so close people too !

So before a stage of life comes where there is no hair left on my head, i thought its a good idea to compile a list of the funny things for posterity. ! Here goes ..
  • Dukaan Band Karo yaar.. Santosh aaya baal katane ( Aslam the barber in my housing colony, the guy who i troubled for the most years, throughout my childhood to teeens )
  • Kal Aana... Kainchi (Scissor) Nayi lani padegi ! ( Same as above )
  • Yeh Tu Baal Katvake Aaya hai ya Katvanne Jaa raha hai ! ( Mom ! When she found almost no difference after i came home from my haircut )
  • Hum logon se 10 Rupees lete hai ! Tere se 25 toh kam se kam leta hoga na !( A Friend)
  • What do they use to cut your hair ?? a Lawn mower ? ( The most common one ! i hate this one now !! )
  • Santo ! how do you look like when you have a hair raising experience !
  • Bloody they should give me money for cutting my hair, They must be getting a fortune selling my hair ! ( Myself :-) )
  • Grand Saloon wale nayi dukaan mere baal bech ke hi toh banai hai !( Me Again )
  • Tu topi pehen ke nikla kar yaar ! Kawa confuse ho jaata hai... uska ghosla chal kaise raha hai !! ( one horrible friend )
  • What is the difference in your weight before and after of a haircut ( A cousin )

May many more come my way till my stocks last !

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Amusing Conversations(3)

She: I Want a cycle for my Birthday...
My Bro : Study Well and come first in your class and i will get you a cycle..
She: How can i come first in class? You talk to my Van driver, he drives so slow i am never the first, someone always reaches before me !!!!!

Any answers ??

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Pichle Saat Dino Main.....


Maine Yeh Sab Hai Khoya !...

Sony Walk Wireless Walkman - Mrp 4900 /- only.
8 GB Pen Drive - Mrp 1240 /- Only
One Novel - Mrp 345/-
Peace Of Mind - Price less :o(

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Just A Thought!

"Good Things Happen To Good People!!"

I have always been a staunch believer of this funda ! Recent events, over the past few months are shaking it !

Is it really true?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Just Books (6)

How many have you read ?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/bigread/top100.shtml

Me? A Poor 13. I am not proud at all !!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Just Books(5)

Finished reading " Its Not About the Bike - Lance Armstrong".

I would surely recommend the book, Its a good and fast read. Even though it dwells on what most would think a depressing subject. A man's fight against cancer. It is well written, fast pased and gives only so much gyan as is needed to put a point across. No endless text of medical terms and same time gives a glimspe into the exciting world of champion ship cycling.

Picked up ''Yes Prime Minister" - This one has been on my shelf forever now, Inspite of being such a big fan of "Yes Minister" I dont know why this one is still unread :o)

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Dummies Guide To Road Crossing !

1) 6 of them Stand in a line holding hands. Giggle and chitt chat and look at each other and everyother place other than the road and the traffic, Wait for a lull in the traffic flow

2) Shout !.. Heeeey cooooome... let all hell break loose... 3 of them pull each other in all directions.and somehow reach the center of the road.

3) Look back at the rest and giggle a little more, wwwwhaat ya, why dint u come..Hey You let go of my hand I dint want to go !!!..All 6 shouting! no one listening. More giggling and finger pointing from the other end.

4) The other three who dint start the journey to the centre of the road, Kind of pissed. you are such a thing i tell u.. why did u leave my hand.. go ya !

5) Another lull in the traffic, 3 holding hands at the divider, 3 holding hands at the starting porint. Another bout of giggling and chaos... The 3 who could have crossed the full road and reached the other end, decide to undo the mistake and scoot right back to the starting point again. But as tragedy will have it, the other 3 who were scared to reach till the divider make it this time, So there you are ! exchange of positions. The 3 form the divider are back to starting point and the other 3 are at the divider

6) Uncontrolled gigglging fit.

7)finger pointing, giggling... a bit of swearing also i guess.

8) Now finally clear instructions from a leader of sorts ! Wait right there ok. We are coming. 3 from starting point, now reach the divider

9) The leaders command did not work, and the 3 cross over and do not wait at the divider

10) And....Finally the other 3 also scramble to the other side ; All 6 of them do a kind of Jig. Well Deserved of course, mission Impossible was accomplished was'nt it !

And in 10 easy steps ; A gang of school girls cross the road at Cunningham Road !

Friday, July 3, 2009

Amusing Conversations(2)

Main aur Meri Unnati Aksar Yeh Baatein Karte Hai.... :o)

When i went to my Bro's house the other day, She was not at home. She was down playing with other kids. She came home at about 7.45. Now i know that she has a deadline of 8 PM to get back in after the play session. Heres what happened.

Me: OH wow ! you came early today?
She: hmmm..
Me: You came early because i have come no? You came home to see me ?? !!! :o)
She: No..... Mommy has made Chicken so i came early !

So much for my high hopes !

Within 5 minutes, I gave her the customary Gems packet.

She: Thank you Chachu !
Me: What !!! You said Thank you ????? Very Good girl.
She: You should say welcome ! not good girl. You dont know anything.
Me: Ok Welcome Good girl :o) Good you finally learnt to say thank you !
She: Yes ! My teacher has told, if someone gives chocolate to you, you should say thank you.
Me: Oye Natak ! I have been teaching this to you for past 2 years, you could not listen to me eh ?
She: Are you my teacher? Why should i listen to what you say?

So Much for my high Hopes !

After a while, When me and bro were sipping beers, she came by and asked for a papad from my plate. I gave it to her, and....

Me: Oye ! you did not say thank you.
She: Why should i say thank you? This is not chocolate !
Me: You have a horrible Teacher !!!!!

What is it ? Am i Dumb or is she smart :o)

Monday, June 29, 2009

Just A Thought !

For quite some time now, I think i've only typed LOL and never ever acutally laughed out loud ! Hmmph ! Not a good sign !

Sunday, June 28, 2009

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

I am an absolute self-confessed FRIENDS Fan. I wish there was a channel that aired just this 24*7 ! My remote will never be used :o)

I took this supposedly really tough FRIENDS quiz today and scored 8! not bad at all, when it said that the average score till date is 6. Do try it out and let me know that you scored less than me :0)

Heres the link : http://www.allthetests.com/quiz26/quiz/1244148778/Friends-Seasons-questions

And the below video is of my most favorite scene from FRIENDS. I can laugh at this one as many times as i see it.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Fresh @ Work

Everyone is a fresher sometime or the other in his/her career ; I do not clearly remeber my days, Sigh ! they were so long back !! But now in my current tenure i have had some interesting conversations with the freshers who either joined my team or i crossed paths with in some course of work ! Here goes.... Dont laugh ! they are not dumb people. They are the future of my company :)

Fresher( joined only about 2 weeks) : Sir, In the Leave system, It is not showing any data for me, we dont have Sick leaves ?
Me: Is it ? I am not sure, probably they havent updated the system yet for you, check with HR.
Fresher( Some time later in the day): Sir, i checked with them, they say it will be updated only next week.
Me: Great ! so problem solved ? Chill !
Fresher: Sir, What should i do if i have to fall sick on this friday ? Before they update the systems?
Me: I assume you want to take a leave on friday ; And to take a leave you dont have to actually fall sick everytime ok ?

[For the super intelligent people who read this, Sick/Casual leave are not differentiated in our leave policy]

Fresher: Santosh, you are a Manager right?
Me: I guess so ! you want to double check ?
Fresher: No, I just wanted to know what work you do.
Me: Ah ! Now that really makes me think
Fresher: Whenever you are on your seat, you have Outlook Or Excel or Powerpoint open on your laptop, Whenever you are not on your seat you are either talking to someone or on phone conference calls. Is this work ?
Me: Please dont go tell all this to my manager ok ? :-)
Fresher: When do you work?
Me: Oye ! this is my work yaar !
Fresher: Very simple no?

I am still wondering if he was genuinely asking out of curiosity and surprice or was being sarcastic !

I got sick of accepting awards without writing anyting ; So this post is to Thank Jyoti for all the awards given to an undeserving blogger :-)

Monday, May 4, 2009

Mastered The Art Of Living

Announcement : Attended and completed the Part 1 of the Art of living course. More than myself my friends and family were surprised that i have enrolled for this course, but i have proved them wrong and finished it ! And partly enjoyed it too, though i am sure i am not yet a staunch follower, i can say that i liked the process. Met some people who belive in the Guru with so much of conviction, it is amazing. Some people may not agree with thier belief, but in the past 5 days i have realised that that belief gives them the push to achieve much more than what they probably would have, if they had not been a part of the believers group.

It cannot be that all of them are Happy, It cannot be that they have no worries, but i was quite evident that they have devised a way to be content.As they say ; To live in the moment.

The last day of the course was a satsang, I still cannot belive that i actually enjoyed being a part of it. Something that would have been laughed upon by me till last week. Young and old, people from varied strata of society willingly coming together and sharing a common belief.

I had read somewhere that life keeps sending teachers across to us in different forms, sometimes we recognise them, some times we dont, sometimes we ignore them. One such form of teaching came across as a 13 year old boy - Hari. I was amazed to say the least.

As my habit is of reaching on time ; I walked in the hall exactly at 6 PM; as usual i was the first one to walk in and there was not a soul to be seen. At a distance i saw this chap, swaying to the bhajan type of songs being played. Suddenly this guy comes rushing to me wide a wide grin and still swaying his hands...

HE: You are doing the Part 1 course here ?

ME: Yes.

HE: good, that you came. Come Sit.

ME:No. Thanks. Am ok. Let it start. I will be here, Its anyway very hot inside.

HE: OK. Dont go away, Be there till the end.

ME: Ok Buddy. Who are you ?

HE: I am a volunteer here? I come here and arrange the mike, the sheets, lights, flowers for guruji etc before everyone comes in.

ME: Oh ! Thats so nice.

HE: Yes, that is called Seva. Guruji says Everyone should do Seva.

Me: Hmm yes that true, but not every one does. you are a good boy i must say

Probably this message was sent to me via a 13 year old boy so i never forget it :-)

However from what i saw , the commercial bug has bitten them as well as is true with all other things. And one advice for them from me is that they should value time ! the class do not start on time, the satsang did not start on time !

So all in all, impressed by the Art of living course, So watch out some deep philosphical and spiritual posts coming up from Sri Sri Santosh Rao !

Monday, April 20, 2009

You Know You Have A Bad Day....


When you pick up the Reli-Spray Bottle and actually spray it, Thinking It to be the Deo !!!!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Joke Hai !... Please say LOL :)


Heard this from someone today. Not sure if this true, but sounds quite possible !

This long strech of road in whitefield hosts a number of IT and ITES office campuses, SAP, Igate, Perot, TCS, and of course my own Tesco. So There is this guy who's friend had to go to Igate for some work, and got down from the Volvo in front of the SAP campus. He had no clue where the Igate office is so walked up the the SAP security guy for directions

Guy : Sir, Where is Igate?

Security : What ?

Guy: Igate, Where is Igate ?

Security : We have only A gate and B gate, There is no I gate !!!

:-)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Kareena Is Sick !!!!

Hmmm ! I Wonder why she is pulling of Bikinis !!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Take It Easy....It Is Really Easy !

I have been away from my blog,and it shows! I was staring at the screen for a good 20 minutes to decide on the title for this post, and in hay days the title was the simplest part! I almost gave up and closed the window, but then settled for the same title for the post as i have for my blog. And it seemed fit to what this garbled post will contain.

To sum up the last 2 months. They were anything but easy, In fact they were the most difficult two months of my life. But as the dictum of my life, "This too shall Pass". It did pass, and thankfully for the better and in my favour.

So! That brings me back to all you good people with a promise to be regular ! Hopefully you dint shrug reading this :-)

Now to add some flavor to a bland post...

A corridor conversation in office..

Guy: Hey.. long time...
Me: Ya! been a while... All's well?
Guy: Yup ! how about you.
Me: Been Good ! How come on this floor today?
Guy: I have a meeting With Su in the room over there.
Me: Meeting with who?
Guy: Su Su ! Got a meeting with her.
Me: Ya: Arent you heading to a wrong room to meet Su su ??

And ! Back with a Bang :-)

PS: No i was not Pinkslipped.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Amusing Conversation (1)

Now that I have made my niece famous on the cyberworld, Here are a few more amusing conversations i have with her.

Couple of weeks back she was to attend the "Interview" for her admission to a school. And all of us had all but freaked her out by constantly reminding her about the impending interview, what the teacher might ask, and of course hourly interrogation sessions of A For? P for ? What color is your hair, etc etc. I am guilty of overdoing it, But the way she answers or runs away from answering is too cute to resist. Also, She had gone blank in previous interviews in other schools, hence her mother was paranoid that she will do the same thing again, and not answer any thing.
Anyway the Interview did go well, and she finally got admission to the school.

Me: What is the name of your School?
She : Interviiiiiii [ she thinks the name of the school is Interview, since for past so many days, We were also saying, You have a interview, interview tomorrow etc etc]

Me: What is the name of your school?
She: Navachetna Play Home...
Me: That was your play home when you were a kiddo, What is your school name where you go as a big girl?
She: Interviiiiiiiiii
Me: Noooo ! Your school name is Presidency.. Not Interviiiiii
Me: Ok What is the name of your school?
She: Interviiiiiiii

The principal or whoever asked all the questions there had asked her What is the color of the Sun, And our smart girl replied that it is Pink !

Me: Oye, Why did you tell the teacher the color of the sun is pink?
She: Silent .. As if she flunked the Board examinations :o) and lost all hope of future studies !
Me: Ok, Tell me what is the color of the sun?
She : eellooooew
Me: See, You do know.
Me: Ok That is at day time, what is the color of Sun at Night?
She. Black !

Me: What is the name of your school?
She: Interviiiiii
Me: Nooooo ! Its Presidecy. OK ??
Me: What is the name of your school?
She: Interviiiiii
Me: Ok . What is the name of my school?
She: Office !

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Amusing Conversation.

Had this amazing, amusing conversation with my 4 year old niece. It takes two to tango right ? !

Me: Hey It is so cold and you are wearing this sleeveles t-shirt, You dont feel cold?
She: No! I am wearing Jeans no? Why will i feel cold?
Me: Hmm i never knew people who wear jeans never feel cold.

After a while.

Me: I am wearing a full sleeve shirt, and wearing a t-shirt inside and still feeling cold. Are you sure you are'nt cold?
She: See all shops are closed, That is why you are feeling cold.
Me: @#$@%#$ What ???
Me: Ok, Dear please go and tell all of them to open thier shops fast, your chachu is feeling so cold no?
She: If you are feeling cold you should wear sweater. Mommy says.
Me: Oh ! so why are you not wearing any sweater?
She: I told you no, I am wearing jeans.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Secure World !

Now what these recent terrorost attacks have done in the corporate world is, It has forced organizations to cut down costs in all areas and shoot it up for the security team. Security gaurds now hold flashy metal detectors , Mirror carts, Gates have bigger metal detectors from which there is no escape, you have to walk through these. Now i had some thoughts and incidents around this whole security Jhing Bang all around.

Had gone out of the campus for some chai and cigarettes, This happened on our way back. As is the rule we walked through the metal detector gate,

Me: Every time i walk in it beeps, I wonder what they monitor and who they question and who, how and why will they stop. What is the trigger? It beeps anyway !
Friend1: Ya same here, It beeps for me too.
Friend2: Ya its just a stupid beeping machince i guess. It will beep for I-card chain, Cell phone and whatever.
Friend3: Pata nahi yaar, Main aata hu toh kabhi beep nahi karta !!
Me: Tere main Iron Defeciency hoga.

A friend came to office on his Bike, The security chap "Metal Detected" his whole bike by taking 3 full circles, All the while the machine beeped a loong shirll noise. The friend was wearing a helmet and the shade was shut, and its the dark shaded type. The security gaurd checked his I-card but did not ask him to remove the helmet. So it could have been anybody on the bike with my friends I-card.

I saw a board outside some office, "Visitors Please report to Security" ; Now if the visitor is a terrorist will he be so obedient ?

Me: Yaar i am going to bombay for the 31st eve !
Friend: Wow ! cool... Party time eh?
Me: Ya maybe, We ll say what the friends gang would have arranged.
Friend: Ya ! I just hope its safe this new years
Me: Ya Ya ! We already called the Terrorist helpline and confirmed, They would be on leave as well. So we will be ok !
Friend:Shut up !

Friend: India will go to war with Pakistan this time for sure. I can sense it.
Me: Ya Ideally we should, But i guess the time is not right.
Friend: What do you mean time is not right!! What more reason can therebe than what happened in Mumbai?
Me: No of course. I mean the timing is not right, What with this recession, and cost cutting and all in the economy. Every one has stopped Air-Travel etc, So you can safely assume IAF will not fly, atleast not long distance. And see the coffee cups, notepad quality in our office is going down every month, Am sure the bomb supplied to th army would also have reduced in size and capacity. so i say let the economy bounce back to normal first !!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Eeeks ! This is not Me !

I am on a tag completing Spree. This one is from RS and Pranjal.

  1. Link the person who tagged you
  2. Mention the rules on your blog
  3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
  4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
  5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs, letting them know that they have been tagged

Here You Go !

  1. Travel Paranoia : I am not a good person to be with if you have made travel plans. I behave as if all the trains, Planes, busses are meant to be missed or delayed when I am supposed to travel. Good thoughts are very rare to come by on the travel date. All I can think of is that I will forget the tickets, The tickets will have a wrong date of booking, The mode of transport, whatever that may be will get cancelled or delayed for long hours. I will check the ticket hundred times, Talk to people all around me and keep checking and cross checking the time of travel. Finally when the travel begins with everything being OK, am i done? No ! I am not the one to be happy and relax, Then starts the luggage paranoia! My luggage will be stolen, someone will flick my purse when I am asleep etc etc etc So Keep away when I am traveling. I am not a fun person there!
  2. Karaoke – When music is being played, I am bound to sing, hum or whistle along with it. I just cannot keep quiet. Usually I know the lyrics and will do a sing along but sometimes when the do not know the lyrics I hum the tune along. And I am no good singer :o) But it hardly matters to me and this irritates a lot of friends and people around me, who want to enjoy the song from the source and not the re-mixed version coming out from me. Honestly I agree with them as well, but sigh ! It just happens!
  3. Books – Before I start reading a book I have to see how many pages it has, No starting without this and if it is not a new book and has twisted page corners, torn pages etc, They have to be set right first !
  4. Food – Give me a new dish to eat or a food that I have never ordered earlier in a hotel and I will smell it before I eat it! Not a good sight this, but this again happens on impulse and we are supposed to write quirks here! You asked for it !!! :o). I smoke/drink occasionally, and I need to have one drag as soon as I have the first sip of my drink.
  5. Think - If I have to think ! I have to bite my nails, I always have a short supply of these given how much I think, Then comes the cuticles and when sometimes they start bleeding, I bite my lips !
  6. Sitting / Standing / Being Still : I have say a stay still limit of about 5 minutes and then Vroom ! I have to move. Be it in queues, Watching TV, Office, Whatever or wherever. After the 10-12 mins still regime is over, I move about, take a walk, do drink water, Start talking. Do Something and create some momentum !!


Phew ! there you have a quirky me

And would love to know a Quirky YOU. , Eye, Raji, Imp’s Mom, Sneha , Gee and Usha

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Been There.Done That(4)

This one is Self Tagged From Self Talks and Sneha. I think this is one of the fastest flowing tags on the blogsphere these days, Seen this already on more than 3 of the limited number of blogs that i follow and read. Here goes..

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula (what's that!)
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne;Never on Champagne; Lets talk Vodka,Beer.
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can - Was a stupid bet; I paid heavy for this one :o)
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day - Had this stupid urge to be a Mallu, My friends were so fed up !!
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk - I am a Pro at this, This one warrants seperate posts all together. Watch out :o)
42. Had amazing friends (Still have them:))
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country - She was the Lady Santa Claus at a pub in Budapest Hungary.
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe - I have packed my bags in Europe though. Does that count?? :o)
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love.
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs - Cassettes actually.
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke - Not at a public place, ?but at a friends house with this barnd new Videocon music system :o)
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business - And ended up in loss as well :o)
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites - Hampi [?]
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight ????
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party.
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a Tatto
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage - I am not telling what though :o)
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand - Atleast the Airport :o) So technically yes !
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold.
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country.
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes ???
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care (medical care?It was a nightmare!)
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Am not tagging any one too, But if you read this and have not already done this. Do it !

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

WMD

So George Bush Finally got close to the weapons of Mass destruction he so desperately searched for in Iraq !

Monday, December 15, 2008

A Klueless Existence!

To add to the Klueless existence that i had, A good friend came along and handed me this to solve ! Phew !
Am sure she draws some sadistic pleasure in seeing me whine and wail for the past 2 weeks, and the kind soul that i am i have passed on the same to some of my other good friends with a promise that they will not overtake me. I am on level 16th as i write this, and in most probabilities will be there ! So go ahead if you need some brain scratching. Click on that link and say good bye to peace and happiness !

The game : http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris-2008/klueless/level0.asp
The Rules : http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/game.asp

And here is a conversation with my 3 year old niece that left me klueless

Me : Hey! What do you do in school?
She: Homework !

Now ! Tell me were we all not so stupid to slog it out at home so we can be ready for school the next day !




Sunday, November 30, 2008

Flames.....


In Loving memory of all those who weere Martyred in the carnage in Mumbai let us pass on this flame and Promise we will in whatever small way possible remember thier sacrifice and ensure that we do not bow down and we will keep the rulers of India accountable for thier death.

And to those who invaded my city, this is all what we have for you !!!!


Friday, November 28, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

Tidbits(2)

I guess i push my luck to the limit with some friends, I get to the point of being rude with them. Everytime i do something like this, and i shamelessly laugh and gawd about it to my wife, her common response is " Tum kya kahin ke maharaja ho, Pata nahi why they tolerate you"

I have a friend, Lets call him MV23 becuase that is his chat id. Honestly i dont know how many more days are left of this friendship :)

Here's is what happened today. I was in a meeting and he kept calling me, i pressed the red button every time. He finally caught me on chat.

MV23: Kya be H*R*M*I. Kahan mar gaya tha.
Me: bol
MV23: Bol Kya Bol !!, Mera Phone kyon Kata??
Me: Maine kab tera phone kata?
MV23: Subah se 3 baar, main phone kar raha hu, tino baar tune Kata.
Me: Maine Nahi Kata.
MV23: Kata. 3 Baar Kata.
Me: Arey yaar, Tu utni door Hyderabad main, Tera phone tere haath main, Main yahan bangalore main. Tu hi bol main tera phone kaise katun ?
MV23: Sudhrega Kabhi
Me: :D Nahi !!

In other more interesting news, I have devised a very simple way of finding out whether i am wearing a Shirt or T-Shirt. All i have to do is assume i am wearing a shirt and keep the Cell phone in my shirt pocket. After a while if there is a loud noise and i have to pick up 3 peices of the cell phone. I conclude that i i am wearing a t-shirt without pockets.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

F.R.I.E.N.D.S (2)

This blog has helped me get in touch with some really nice people, and today i was lucky to have met two of them today.
Met Imp's Mom, her Imp and Raji with the sister at Koshy's. Was truly wonderful meeting and seeing people about whom one has already read and known so much via thier blogs.
I was majorly impressed by the cuteest way the Imp says NO to whatever you ask her. I am sure when she grows up, Boys will actually be happy to hear NO as an answer to date or coffee invites. S

Thanks Jo and Raji, Hope to meet you all again.

Monday, November 17, 2008

We Are Growing !!!!

Couple of years ago when i had joined this organization I was somewhere in 500-540th Employee range. so you see clearly this organization has grown in front of me and honestly i have grown with the organization too ! I was 58 Kilos when i came from bombay and today i am a frightening 74 Kgs. Now tell me aint that good growth ?? I have witnessesed some drastic changes in the landscape, in people, in office, in everywhere.

Way back everything was in abundance, now everything is scarce and percious.

People travelled to UK, Europe at the drop of a hat and now people who even dream about travelling are dropped.

The cubicles were luxury! with each one having only 4 geeks. Somewhere down the line they squeezed in a 5th one, and when we kept travelling down the same line, one fine Monday morning we realized that over the weekend they had shrunk the cubicle size and added two more seats adjoining to every cubcile. Now the work area more or less resembles a Bombay local train, where there is always place for one more. Ya Kinda makes me feel at home too.

Gone are the days when we dined like Kings. Now after standing in a mile long queue for getting the coupon, you see the other queue already building up for the biryani or the roti-curry, and finally when your turn comes up the Rotis are over.
Typical conversations at the food court....

ABC : You see that guy in the black shirt there he got promoted last week.
XYZ : Ya ?? Look he has got a spoon too today, Man life is so unfair. some guys have all the luck! Promotions, Spoons everything. Its been 4 days now, i have been eating my biryani with bare hands. Its Ok if i dont get promotions but i surely deserve a spoon for all my efforts right?

Scheduling a meeting and getting a meeting room was as simple as 123. Now i hear, there is some underground black martketeering going on. You need to know people in the right places if you have to have the luxury of a meeting room. Else the sofa at the lobby or the terrace. If Rumours are to be belived, They are going to start the same booking system that we have for Meeting rooms for toilets as well.

ABC: Can you come over to my desk at 4 PM today for a quick overview of the new project?
XYZ:Let me check my calendar please. Oh ! sorry no, I have a toilet break booked for 4 PM.
ABC: Cant you hold on till 430 or something, This will not take more than 30 mins.
XYZ: Cant you hold on for 10-15 mins, I will finish and be there by 415. I was not able to able to book any room for the morning as well and i just cannot miss this one. Hope you get what i mean.
ABC: Ya, Ya.. Tough times man... See you at 415.

Yes We are 3000 Strong today! And i loved every moment of being a part of this!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Just Books (4)

Just Finished with Carnage by Angels - Y.P.Singh. Its a well written book, Mind numbing actually, The very fact that an IPS officer has had this to write about the Elite IPS and the Police Force of the country scares me. Worth a read, but the vocabulary used is very impressive but tough to understand as well, Got to refer the dictionery quite a few times to understand sentences and contexts. All in all a good read.

Picked up Songs in Ordinary Times - Mary Mcgarry Morris. This is one of the book i have bought just on instint, I had not heard about it, nor was it referred to me by someone. Just picked it up Off the shelf and said a little prayer that it should turn out value for money. However earlier decisions to pick up books on instinct have been satisfactory, I had picked up I know This Much Is True - Wally Lamb. Had turned out to be quite a good choice.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Yeah ! I am Goofy !

Of All the Tags that are pending on me, This one was the simplest and quickest : RS Tagged me to do this quiz and below are the results

And Just By the way edited to add ...that I cant have enough of this song at all

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Just Books - 3

Finished The Secret - Rhonda Byrne.

I first came across this title on Pranjal's Blog and wanted to pick this up ever since. I guess the "Secret" was working for me even before i knew what it is and i started reading this book. One of the core message in this book is that Thoughts becomes Things and it was proved when i just asked a guy in office if he has heard about this book and turned out that he did and also agreed to lend it to me. There the secret worked just like that ! I hope it works forever !

Picked up Carnage By Angels - Y.P.Singh.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

If I Were GOD......


I would have never allowed two year old Sonu to fall into a 150 ft deep borewell and die a horribly slow and painful death.
I surely would not have created more hurdles in the attempts to rescue the poor child by adding to the woes and would have ensured there were no mud-slides which made added to the delay and sufferings of the tiny child.

I also would never have had a 9 year old kid try to help the ill intentions of the terrorists by making him pickup the tiffin box in the which his death was hiding.

On one hand we all talk of good karma and bad karma and that we meet our end accordingly. Makes me wonder how much of Bad Karma would these 2 guys have possibly put in thier lives to deserve such a horrible and painful death.

If I were God...... I surely would not be so sadistic.

If i were God... I will learn from these mistakes and never commit them again !

I am not God... But i hope he reads this.

Friday, October 10, 2008

I've GAS !!!

Friend From Bombay: Kya Haal hai be !
Me : Yeah !!! I Got GAS man ! Finally I got Gas
Friend : Yeaaaaw !!! you are so grouse ! How is that something to be happy about !!!!
Friend : You think i am intrested in your gastro things man ! Yeaw !!! Get lost !
Me : Arey yaar ! I mean i finally got a the gas connection transferred to my address, no more running around in the black market !
Friend: You are wierd
Me: I know.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I Am Being Judged !!!!

I was judged over the last weeks and the outcome is given below, I had to do this today before the judgement could change and i would get awarded as The Official Snob on Blogspace !! Thanks Jyoti for the recognition and awards ; I am sure i deserve much more :o)





Monday, September 29, 2008

Just Books(2)

Finished with Is Paris Burning finally, Took a really long time. It is worth the time, nothing less to be expected from Larry Colllins and Domnique Lappeiere. They make you feel like you are reading a fast paced action Robert Ludlum kind of novel and not an event in history. Fantastic read, I just hope these Germans and French people had names which were easier to pronounce and remember, Gets a bit tough to remember who is who, with so many people who were part of this historic event.

Picked up The Secret, So far so Good !

Friday, September 26, 2008

Dont quote me on this !

I have been tagged by some people and i have never been able to do them till date, and then there are tags by Usha, which i finish off in a jiffy ; Simple reason she has promised i can bill my time on her ! So now you know what you got to do if you want your tags finished !

This is what the tag is about: “Jot down 5 of your favorite quotes from the various books you’ve read. If you don’t have the books with you now, googling (Wikiquotes and the like) can be used to find them. Tag five people and acknowledge the person who tagged you.”

Here Goes
  1. Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears" - Shantaram
  2. You dont love someone becuase they are perfect, you love them inpsite of the fact that they are not - My sisters Keeper
  3. The road towards self-reliance cannot not lie through the past - A Fine Balance.
  4. Worry is a waste of emotional reserve. - The Fountain head
  5. The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn't the family - Tuesdays with Morrie

Now to complete the tag rule and to pass on this to five more people; There are only 7 priviliged people who read my blog, One is the lady who tagged me ,So i tag the remaining 6 !.

  1. Jyoti
  2. Main Meri Aankh Aur Sirf Main
  3. Pranjal
  4. RS
  5. Raji
  6. Sneha !

Notice the clear gender bias there :0)

Monday, September 22, 2008

KOB and KOC

I remember reading in some magazine, every month they would have a column titled " Kick in the Rear" and " Pat on the back" or something.

This is something i have consituted on the same lines.

KOB = Kick on the Butt and KOC = Kiss on the Cheek !
And this weeks nominations are ...

A KOB to the guy who sits next to me in the cab,dozes off and bangs his head on my shoulder every now and then and sometimes uses my shoulder as a convenient headrest too !

A KOC to any girl who would want to do the same :o)

Till Next time.....

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I Accept Defeat !

YES !! Don't hate me for saying this ! But i always wondered why people have moderation / word verification enabled on the comments that people would want to leave on thier posts. I did not like doing that at all, I absolutely hated typing words like "Aghyrtu", "Phtefg" and the the likes. Every time i did that, There was a small "*&^%$^%&%" for the person on whose blog i was commenting :o) He He.. Still i am a frequent visitor on thier blogs.. shhhh ! No Names :o) Yes you ! i am talking about you !!!

But i accept defeat today and have done the same thing on my blog ! I am fedup of some crap comments being left on my posts at random and me having to go and delete them every time.

So i am sorry for all the nasty thoughts i had when i commented on your blogs, And Please dont give me "%^&*$#@$%^ when you have do the same on my blog !

Keep them coming!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Festive Conversations

Spent the last couple of days in Mangalore.

A long lost contact sprang up on Gtalk !

M: Do you have Nero?
Me: What Nero?
M: I want to burn My CD's
Me: CD Burn Ko Nero Kyon chahiye? Thoda sa Kerosene Dal aur Macchhis laga de!!
{Silence}
{Silence}
Me: Jala Diya ?
Me: Burnt ?
Me: Khud Bhi Jal gala ?
I lost a Friend day before yesterday :o)


Me: I filled 2 litres petrol in your scooty.
Sister: What are you giving me as Rakhi gift?
Me: Dint you hear? I filled 2 litres petrol in your scooty!
Sister: So that is my Rakhi Gift ?
Me: Hey ! C'mon Ofcourse not ya ! I filled Air in the tyres too !!
Sister: Both Tyres?
Me: Ya Both!
Sister: WOW ! where will i find a brother like you !

Sister1: Hey Santo, Give me my 500 Bucks, I had paid for your ticket to mangalore
Sister2: Where is my Rakhi Gift?
Me: Hey Sister1 ive 500 to Sister2 ; I have to settle 500 Rs with you right? Settled
Sister2: Hey Sis, Give the 500 which you have to give Santo
Sister1: WHat !!! I have to take from him, Not give to him ! I am not giving anyone any money, I did not ask him to come to to mangalore, nor did i tell you to tie Rakhi to him !
Me: Let me know who is giving me 500 Rs. I have a bus to catch tonight.
Sister2: Hey give him the money na , I will get my Rakhi gift only if you pay him !
Sister1 : Are you really dumb or ganged up with him to make 500 quick bucks
Sister2: I dont know, I want my Rakhi gift
Me: You girls are mad ! I am out of here.
Sister1 : See you are such a stupid thing ! we both lost 500 Bucks!

Took my Granny to some 13th day function of some old aged lady who is a distant relative and i have no idea who they are !

Random Guy1 : Oh Santosh! Its been so many years since i saw you, you have changed completely ! {so what did you expect, me to stopping growing at the age of 7 so that you can recognize me 20 years later?}

Random Guy2: Oh ! did you recognize me ? {No ! And i dont plant o trouble my memory cell either}

Random Lady1: So you are staying in Bangalore now? How much rent do you pay ?? { Next Lady.. or Next Question please !!!}

But i am so happy i took my granny there, It really made her day and she had not expected in her wildest dreams i will accept her invitation and actually accompany her. My good karma for the day or for the year may be !

Monday, September 1, 2008

I Want My Money Back !

People advertise what they want and just do not keep up to thier promises! You look at thier boards and plan and reach the place all excited only to face utter disappointment. Cheats.

There is this shop near my house "Punchher Shop" , I took my wife there this weekend.

Nothing!

I am taking him to consumer court.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Hair Hair Saved

Or as they say, Bal Bal Bach Gaye in Native Indian languages is what happened to Your's Truly today !

We had this all IT team away from office at
Manipal County. The whole affair got pretty boring around noon, Heavy lunch may be partly balmed for this, Also no beer ! So 3 of us decided to head out of there and grab a couple of beers.

As we were driving somwhere near BTM layout, My colleague who was driving veered to the left and braked to a standstill at an intersection, and right next to us this huge lorry comes full force and bangs on to another lorry standing ahead to the right of our car, That lorry went and hit the car ahead and the car went on to another Auto or Bike fellow.

It was just a matter of 40-50 Secs, if my good friend had not veered to the left, We would have been in between the two lorries, And looking at the damage the lorry caused to the other lorry it hit, The Santro we were in;Did not stand a chance ! Phew !
Eyememyself had commented on my earlier post that losing footwear brings luck, Well never imagined that one shoe getting stolen would save 3 lives. Thanks "Eye..." :o) how i wish i had lost both of them !
Beer tasted a lot lot better after that, Believe me ! So enjoy every drink :o) You will never know which is your last !

I have heard of Don't Drink and Drive ; Today the reverse was also true, It was as f God was saying " Don't Drive to Drink as well " :o) Par hum toh tehre Besharam !


Moral of the Story : All Office functions,get-togethers, parties should serve Beer, So employees don't leave early to fend for themselves !

Friday, August 22, 2008

And It Happens Again....

First things first, I have crossed 50 blogs , Half century and i dint even realize. I am quite proud of this achievement !

Now back to the point.

About 7 months back, I had all my footwear stolen; Read about it here : and today the most wierd thing has happened. Some guy has flicked one of my reebok sneakers, Ya ! Not the pair, but one shoe ! Dumbass, What will he do with one shoe, And Jerk... What do you expect me to do with the other one ??

My wife thinks its not a thief but some dog who would have carried it away, but i ask is the dog so smart to leave 3 pairs of my her sandals and chappals which were much more accesible and choose my shoe only ? on the same lines as the incident that happened earlier ?




Tuesday, August 12, 2008

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

What is life without you guys?

Here's to us...... Cheers !

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I Am Off On A Vacation.....

The whole of next week, I would be off on a much needed break. Away from Stupid work, Commuting in Indicabs, Blogging, Canteen food and the likes. Yes ! I am off on a vacation !! Yippeeee !!! Check out my itinerary......

Adious !

PS> Donations to fund my vacation and the rest of my life post the vacation are accepted in cash and/or Cheques. Thank you.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Who has the Right Answers?

The Mehtas who are in the news for submitting a plea in Mumbai high court to abort thier 25 week old baby had thier plea rejected yesterday.

Does it end there? Are such questions or situations of life plain black and white? Is this the end really ? Or is this just the begining ?Who is right here?

The parents, who have only good intentions for a child unborn and wish that they dont want to bring to life a baby who in most porbabilities would be plagued with health issues.?

The Judiciary, Who feels this amounts to Euthanasia and should not be provided as an escape from a situation which would have many medical solutions given the available medical options for people who are born with Congenital heart and other health issues ?

Given that the high court has rejected thier plea, it is all but evident now that the baby will be born. The parents and the world can only pray that it has the least suffering if the poor thing really has to undergo the birth defects but hope that the baby comes out hale and hearty and surprises the world, which some doctors have claimed is a possibiity too.

The most astonishing part would be how would the Baby judge all those who are debating what is right for him/her. As and when he/she grows up to an age where it will start understanding and realising the past it carries even before it were born.

If the child is born healthy or with minimal health problems, which are easily corrected with a pace maker or any other medical marvel. Will it thank the Judicial system for giving it a chance to come into this world and experience it firsthand and will it Hold it against its parents? The hard fact that they tried to abort it and did not want to bring it into this world? That they did not want to give it a chance ? Will relations change? Will there be confrontations?

OR

God forbid the child is indeed born with many birth defects that life is more of a punishment than a pleasure. Will the judicial system claim reponsibility for the suffering the young one may have to go through? Will the child question or curse them for not having given the right to its parents to have excerised the extreme step they had embarked to take?

I guess no one will ever have the answers. Or maybe there are no answers.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

A Joke That Did not Work .. Part 2

Ok so Back to Me and Mr.I-Don't-Understand-Any-Of-Santosh's-Jokes

(On The terrace having coffee)

HE: Hey Santosh
ME: Hey Man.. Hows life
HE: Cool.. Going On !
HE: Blah Blah Blah...
Me: Blah.. Blah and some more Blah!!
HE: Arey Yaar, Kal Dekha? Surat main baara BUM pakda.
Me: He He ! BUM Pakda???? BUM ?? Baara?? Kisne Pakda??
He: Kisne Pakda Matlab Kya?? Kisne Pakda... Police ya woh Bomb Squad ne pakda hoga
Me: He HE
He: Arey ! Has raha kyon hai be?
Me: He HE Kuch nai... Acha bata Kiska BUM Pakda??
He: Kyyaaaa? Kya Kiska??
Me: Arey Woh Police ne kiska BUM pakda Surat main??
He: Terrorist ka aur kiska !!!
Me: OH! Police ne terrorist ka BUM pakda?? Agar BUM pakad hi liya tha, Toh jaane kyon diya ?? Pura pakdna tha... Sirf BUM kyon Pakda??
He: Tu kya bol raha hai?

BTW, The sad part is Mr.I-Don't-Understand-Any-Of-Santosh's-Jokes is leaving his job here and going elsewhere. So this is the last of the series :o) unles he gives me some golden opportunity in the last few days that he has left here ! Hoping for the best !!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Bombs..Blasts...And a Hobby Gone Bad....

I have a hobby of collecting newspaper headlines. Not everyday news, but news that made headlines. I have the clipping of Indira Gandhi Assasinated, Rajiv Gandhi Assasinated, India winning the World cup, Lord Ganesha Drinking milk, The Bombay bomb Blasts, The Bombay blasts again, and again and again.

If the bombing spree goes on this way, I think i will have to keep everydays frontpage !

While at the point, I also wonder how long and how many times will the same cycle be repeated and how far will we go till we say enough is enough and react. I am just fed up of a few things , rhetoric, statements and News Flash that follow a Bomb-Blast.
  • The Prime minister and President have condemned the blasts.
  • The Chief minister has asked the public to maintain calm and peace.
  • News Flash - Police have released sketches of suspected bomber.
  • The News reporter shouting "You are watching these first pictures of the blast site exclusively on our channel"
  • The gory images of blast victims that are splashed on the screens, I am sure it would have a huge phsycological impact on many people, specially those who would have either gone through a similar experience themselves, or sadly would have lost one of thier kin.
  • Finger pointing by politicians. It is high time we grow up folks !

On a personal level, i have gone beyond getting scared by such incidents, It just does not effect anymore. I guess its just about not being at the wrong place at the wrong time and being happy about it.

My prayers to all those who were affected by the recent events.

and to those who are doing this : MAY YOU ROT IN HELL !

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Just Books(1)

Just finished reading The Silent Raga by Ameen Merchant. A good read, Very good actually.

Picked up Is Paris Burning - Larry Collins And Domnique Lapierre.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Only... Only 7 Useless Facts About Me !!!

Picked this Tag from Rajeshwari : Lol I am a TAG-PICKER :o)

  1. I hate anything and everything that is to do with numbers, 2 digit multiplication is still a distant dream, Subtraction a nightmare, Addition i manage somehow but i need my time, Divisions i've stopped trying. I have the distinct record of flunking all my Math examinations from 6th Std right untill Preliminary exams of 10th. Scrapped through my Matriculation examination with 98 Marks.... From 150 not 100 :o). But still i consider this as lifes greatest achievement.
  2. I have joined the maximum number of courses, vocational courses and not finished them. I have joined MBA coaching, CA Coaching, M.Com at Bombay University, Java at concourse, Oracle RDBMS at SSI and then i lost track.
  3. I have read Shantaram 3 Times and Kane and Abel 2 times and seen Andaz Apna Apna fully about 9-10 times.
  4. I lost my first salary ! Some chor picked my pocket :-( on a subarbun bus in Bombay.
  5. I had a superstition of saying a lil prayer on the 9th step of the staircase when leaving my house in Bombay. This one died a natural death when i left Bombay
  6. 4 of my friends have had thier footwear stolen when they accompanied me to the Siddhi-Vinayaka temple in Bombay. My friends stopped coming with me to the temple, They suspect i have a "setting" with the chappal chor gang.
  7. I have worn the same wrist watch for 14 years.

Free for all TAG, Do Pick up :o)