A Secure World !

Now what these recent terrorost attacks have done in the corporate world is, It has forced organizations to cut down costs in all areas and shoot it up for the security team. Security gaurds now hold flashy metal detectors , Mirror carts, Gates have bigger metal detectors from which there is no escape, you have to walk through these. Now i had some thoughts and incidents around this whole security Jhing Bang all around.

Had gone out of the campus for some chai and cigarettes, This happened on our way back. As is the rule we walked through the metal detector gate,

Me: Every time i walk in it beeps, I wonder what they monitor and who they question and who, how and why will they stop. What is the trigger? It beeps anyway !
Friend1: Ya same here, It beeps for me too.
Friend2: Ya its just a stupid beeping machince i guess. It will beep for I-card chain, Cell phone and whatever.
Friend3: Pata nahi yaar, Main aata hu toh kabhi beep nahi karta !!
Me: Tere main Iron Defeciency hoga.

A friend came to office on his Bike, The security chap "Metal Detected" his whole bike by taking 3 full circles, All the while the machine beeped a loong shirll noise. The friend was wearing a helmet and the shade was shut, and its the dark shaded type. The security gaurd checked his I-card but did not ask him to remove the helmet. So it could have been anybody on the bike with my friends I-card.

I saw a board outside some office, "Visitors Please report to Security" ; Now if the visitor is a terrorist will he be so obedient ?

Me: Yaar i am going to bombay for the 31st eve !
Friend: Wow ! cool... Party time eh?
Me: Ya maybe, We ll say what the friends gang would have arranged.
Friend: Ya ! I just hope its safe this new years
Me: Ya Ya ! We already called the Terrorist helpline and confirmed, They would be on leave as well. So we will be ok !
Friend:Shut up !

Friend: India will go to war with Pakistan this time for sure. I can sense it.
Me: Ya Ideally we should, But i guess the time is not right.
Friend: What do you mean time is not right!! What more reason can therebe than what happened in Mumbai?
Me: No of course. I mean the timing is not right, What with this recession, and cost cutting and all in the economy. Every one has stopped Air-Travel etc, So you can safely assume IAF will not fly, atleast not long distance. And see the coffee cups, notepad quality in our office is going down every month, Am sure the bomb supplied to th army would also have reduced in size and capacity. so i say let the economy bounce back to normal first !!

Eeeks ! This is not Me !

I am on a tag completing Spree. This one is from RS and Pranjal.

1. Link the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs, letting them know that they have been tagged

Here You Go !

1. Travel Paranoia : I am not a good person to be with if you have made travel plans. I behave as if all the trains, Planes, busses are meant to be missed or delayed when I am supposed to travel. Good thoughts are very rare to come by on the travel date. All I can think of is that I will forget the tickets, The tickets will have a wrong date of booking, The mode of transport, whatever that may be will get cancelled or delayed for long hours. I will check the ticket hundred times, Talk to people all around me and keep checking and cross checking the time of travel. Finally when the travel begins with everything being OK, am i done? No ! I am not the one to be happy and relax, Then starts the luggage paranoia! My luggage will be stolen, someone will flick my purse when I am asleep etc etc etc So Keep away when I am traveling. I am not a fun person there!
2. Karaoke – When music is being played, I am bound to sing, hum or whistle along with it. I just cannot keep quiet. Usually I know the lyrics and will do a sing along but sometimes when the do not know the lyrics I hum the tune along. And I am no good singer :o) But it hardly matters to me and this irritates a lot of friends and people around me, who want to enjoy the song from the source and not the re-mixed version coming out from me. Honestly I agree with them as well, but sigh ! It just happens!
3. Books – Before I start reading a book I have to see how many pages it has, No starting without this and if it is not a new book and has twisted page corners, torn pages etc, They have to be set right first !
4. Food – Give me a new dish to eat or a food that I have never ordered earlier in a hotel and I will smell it before I eat it! Not a good sight this, but this again happens on impulse and we are supposed to write quirks here! You asked for it !!! :o). I smoke/drink occasionally, and I need to have one drag as soon as I have the first sip of my drink.
5. Think - If I have to think ! I have to bite my nails, I always have a short supply of these given how much I think, Then comes the cuticles and when sometimes they start bleeding, I bite my lips !
6. Sitting / Standing / Being Still : I have say a stay still limit of about 5 minutes and then Vroom ! I have to move. Be it in queues, Watching TV, Office, Whatever or wherever. After the 10-12 mins still regime is over, I move about, take a walk, do drink water, Start talking. Do Something and create some momentum !!

Phew ! there you have a quirky me

And would love to know a Quirky YOU. , Eye, Raji, Imp’s Mom, Sneha , Gee and Usha

Been There.Done That(4)

This one is Self Tagged From Self Talks and Sneha. I think this is one of the fastest flowing tags on the blogsphere these days, Seen this already on more than 3 of the limited number of blogs that i follow and read. Here goes..

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula (what's that!)
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne;Never on Champagne; Lets talk Vodka,Beer.
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can - Was a stupid bet; I paid heavy for this one :o)
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day - Had this stupid urge to be a Mallu, My friends were so fed up !!
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk - I am a Pro at this, This one warrants seperate posts all together. Watch out :o)
42. Had amazing friends (Still have them:))
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country - She was the Lady Santa Claus at a pub in Budapest Hungary.
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe - I have packed my bags in Europe though. Does that count?? :o)
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love.
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs - Cassettes actually.
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke - Not at a public place, ?but at a friends house with this barnd new Videocon music system :o)
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business - And ended up in loss as well :o)
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites - Hampi [?]
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight ????
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party.
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a Tatto
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage - I am not telling what though :o)
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand - Atleast the Airport :o) So technically yes !
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold.
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country.
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes ???
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care (medical care?It was a nightmare!)
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Am not tagging any one too, But if you read this and have not already done this. Do it !

WMD

So George Bush Finally got close to the weapons of Mass destruction he so desperately searched for in Iraq !

A Klueless Existence!

To add to the Klueless existence that i had, A good friend came along and handed me this to solve ! Phew !
Am sure she draws some sadistic pleasure in seeing me whine and wail for the past 2 weeks, and the kind soul that i am i have passed on the same to some of my other good friends with a promise that they will not overtake me. I am on level 16th as i write this, and in most probabilities will be there ! So go ahead if you need some brain scratching. Click on that link and say good bye to peace and happiness !

The game : http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris-2008/klueless/level0.asp
The Rules : http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/game.asp

And here is a conversation with my 3 year old niece that left me klueless

Me : Hey! What do you do in school?
She: Homework !

Now ! Tell me were we all not so stupid to slog it out at home so we can be ready for school the next day !

Mumbai Bravehearts

No words can write what we feel for you. Nothing can bring back what we have lost.

Vijay Salaskar

Hemant Karkare

Ashok Kamte

We Salute you Gentlemen. And We hope India Rises as a Nation and avenges your death.
May your souls rest in peace.

Tidbits(2)

I guess i push my luck to the limit with some friends, I get to the point of being rude with them. Everytime i do something like this, and i shamelessly laugh and gawd about it to my wife, her common response is " Tum kya kahin ke maharaja ho, Pata nahi why they tolerate you"

I have a friend, Lets call him MV23 becuase that is his chat id. Honestly i dont know how many more days are left of this friendship :)

Here's is what happened today. I was in a meeting and he kept calling me, i pressed the red button every time. He finally caught me on chat.

MV23: Kya be H*R*M*I. Kahan mar gaya tha.
Me: bol
MV23: Bol Kya Bol !!, Mera Phone kyon Kata??
Me: Maine kab tera phone kata?
MV23: Subah se 3 baar, main phone kar raha hu, tino baar tune Kata.
Me: Maine Nahi Kata.
MV23: Kata. 3 Baar Kata.
Me: Arey yaar, Tu utni door Hyderabad main, Tera phone tere haath main, Main yahan bangalore main. Tu hi bol main tera phone kaise katun ?
MV23: Sudhrega Kabhi
Me: :D Nahi !!

In other more interesting news, I have devised a very simple way of finding out whether i am wearing a Shirt or T-Shirt. All i have to do is assume i am wearing a shirt and keep the Cell phone in my shirt pocket. After a while if there is a loud noise and i have to pick up 3 peices of the cell phone. I conclude that i i am wearing a t-shirt without pockets.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S (2)

This blog has helped me get in touch with some really nice people, and today i was lucky to have met two of them today.
Met Imp's Mom, her Imp and Raji with the sister at Koshy's. Was truly wonderful meeting and seeing people about whom one has already read and known so much via thier blogs.
I was majorly impressed by the cuteest way the Imp says NO to whatever you ask her. I am sure when she grows up, Boys will actually be happy to hear NO as an answer to date or coffee invites. S

Thanks Jo and Raji, Hope to meet you all again.

We Are Growing !!!!

Couple of years ago when i had joined this organization I was somewhere in 500-540th Employee range. so you see clearly this organization has grown in front of me and honestly i have grown with the organization too ! I was 58 Kilos when i came from bombay and today i am a frightening 74 Kgs. Now tell me aint that good growth ?? I have witnessesed some drastic changes in the landscape, in people, in office, in everywhere.

Way back everything was in abundance, now everything is scarce and percious.

People travelled to UK, Europe at the drop of a hat and now people who even dream about travelling are dropped.

The cubicles were luxury! with each one having only 4 geeks. Somewhere down the line they squeezed in a 5th one, and when we kept travelling down the same line, one fine Monday morning we realized that over the weekend they had shrunk the cubicle size and added two more seats adjoining to every cubcile. Now the work area more or less resembles a Bombay local train, where there is always place for one more. Ya Kinda makes me feel at home too.

Gone are the days when we dined like Kings. Now after standing in a mile long queue for getting the coupon, you see the other queue already building up for the biryani or the roti-curry, and finally when your turn comes up the Rotis are over.
Typical conversations at the food court....

ABC : You see that guy in the black shirt there he got promoted last week.
XYZ : Ya ?? Look he has got a spoon too today, Man life is so unfair. some guys have all the luck! Promotions, Spoons everything. Its been 4 days now, i have been eating my biryani with bare hands. Its Ok if i dont get promotions but i surely deserve a spoon for all my efforts right?

Scheduling a meeting and getting a meeting room was as simple as 123. Now i hear, there is some underground black martketeering going on. You need to know people in the right places if you have to have the luxury of a meeting room. Else the sofa at the lobby or the terrace. If Rumours are to be belived, They are going to start the same booking system that we have for Meeting rooms for toilets as well.

ABC: Can you come over to my desk at 4 PM today for a quick overview of the new project?
XYZ:Let me check my calendar please. Oh ! sorry no, I have a toilet break booked for 4 PM.
ABC: Cant you hold on till 430 or something, This will not take more than 30 mins.
XYZ: Cant you hold on for 10-15 mins, I will finish and be there by 415. I was not able to able to book any room for the morning as well and i just cannot miss this one. Hope you get what i mean.
ABC: Ya, Ya.. Tough times man... See you at 415.

Yes We are 3000 Strong today! And i loved every moment of being a part of this!

Just Books (4)

Just Finished with Carnage by Angels - Y.P.Singh. Its a well written book, Mind numbing actually, The very fact that an IPS officer has had this to write about the Elite IPS and the Police Force of the country scares me. Worth a read, but the vocabulary used is very impressive but tough to understand as well, Got to refer the dictionery quite a few times to understand sentences and contexts. All in all a good read.

Picked up Songs in Ordinary Times - Mary Mcgarry Morris. This is one of the book i have bought just on instint, I had not heard about it, nor was it referred to me by someone. Just picked it up Off the shelf and said a little prayer that it should turn out value for money. However earlier decisions to pick up books on instinct have been satisfactory, I had picked up I know This Much Is True - Wally Lamb. Had turned out to be quite a good choice.

Just Books - 3

Finished The Secret - Rhonda Byrne.

I first came across this title on Pranjal's Blog and wanted to pick this up ever since. I guess the "Secret" was working for me even before i knew what it is and i started reading this book. One of the core message in this book is that Thoughts becomes Things and it was proved when i just asked a guy in office if he has heard about this book and turned out that he did and also agreed to lend it to me. There the secret worked just like that ! I hope it works forever !

Picked up Carnage By Angels - Y.P.Singh.

I Am Being Judged !!!!

I was judged over the last weeks and the outcome is given below, I had to do this today before the judgement could change and i would get awarded as The Official Snob on Blogspace !! Thanks Jyoti for the recognition and awards ; I am sure i deserve much more :o)

Just Books(2)

Finished with Is Paris Burning finally, Took a really long time. It is worth the time, nothing less to be expected from Larry Colllins and Domnique Lappeiere. They make you feel like you are reading a fast paced action Robert Ludlum kind of novel and not an event in history. Fantastic read, I just hope these Germans and French people had names which were easier to pronounce and remember, Gets a bit tough to remember who is who, with so many people who were part of this historic event.

Picked up The Secret, So far so Good !

Dont quote me on this !

I have been tagged by some people and i have never been able to do them till date, and then there are tags by Usha, which i finish off in a jiffy ; Simple reason she has promised i can bill my time on her ! So now you know what you got to do if you want your tags finished !

This is what the tag is about: “Jot down 5 of your favorite quotes from the various books you’ve read. If you don’t have the books with you now, googling (Wikiquotes and the like) can be used to find them. Tag five people and acknowledge the person who tagged you.”

Here Goes

1. Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears" - Shantaram
2. You dont love someone becuase they are perfect, you love them inpsite of the fact that they are not - My sisters Keeper
3. The road towards self-reliance cannot not lie through the past - A Fine Balance.
4. Worry is a waste of emotional reserve. - The Fountain head
5. The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn't the family - Tuesdays with Morrie

Now to complete the tag rule and to pass on this to five more people; There are only 7 priviliged people who read my blog, One is the lady who tagged me ,So i tag the remaining 6 !.

1. Jyoti
2. Main Meri Aankh Aur Sirf Main
3. Pranjal
4. RS
5. Raji
6. Sneha !

Notice the clear gender bias there :0)

KOB and KOC

I remember reading in some magazine, every month they would have a column titled " Kick in the Rear" and " Pat on the back" or something.

This is something i have consituted on the same lines.

KOB = Kick on the Butt and KOC = Kiss on the Cheek !
And this weeks nominations are ...

A KOB to the guy who sits next to me in the cab,dozes off and bangs his head on my shoulder every now and then and sometimes uses my shoulder as a convenient headrest too !

A KOC to any girl who would want to do the same :o)

Till Next time.....

I Accept Defeat !

YES !! Don't hate me for saying this ! But i always wondered why people have moderation / word verification enabled on the comments that people would want to leave on thier posts. I did not like doing that at all, I absolutely hated typing words like "Aghyrtu", "Phtefg" and the the likes. Every time i did that, There was a small "*&^%$^%&%" for the person on whose blog i was commenting :o) He He.. Still i am a frequent visitor on thier blogs.. shhhh ! No Names :o) Yes you ! i am talking about you !!!

But i accept defeat today and have done the same thing on my blog ! I am fedup of some crap comments being left on my posts at random and me having to go and delete them every time.

So i am sorry for all the nasty thoughts i had when i commented on your blogs, And Please dont give me "%^&*$#@$%^ when you have do the same on my blog !

Keep them coming!

Festive Conversations

Spent the last couple of days in Mangalore.

A long lost contact sprang up on Gtalk !

M: Do you have Nero?
Me: What Nero?
M: I want to burn My CD's
Me: CD Burn Ko Nero Kyon chahiye? Thoda sa Kerosene Dal aur Macchhis laga de!!
{Silence}
{Silence}
Me: Jala Diya ?
Me: Burnt ?
Me: Khud Bhi Jal gala ?
I lost a Friend day before yesterday :o)


Me: I filled 2 litres petrol in your scooty.
Sister: What are you giving me as Rakhi gift?
Me: Dint you hear? I filled 2 litres petrol in your scooty!
Sister: So that is my Rakhi Gift ?
Me: Hey ! C'mon Ofcourse not ya ! I filled Air in the tyres too !!
Sister: Both Tyres?
Me: Ya Both!
Sister: WOW ! where will i find a brother like you !

Sister1: Hey Santo, Give me my 500 Bucks, I had paid for your ticket to mangalore
Sister2: Where is my Rakhi Gift?
Me: Hey Sister1 ive 500 to Sister2 ; I have to settle 500 Rs with you right? Settled
Sister2: Hey Sis, Give the 500 which you have to give Santo
Sister1: WHat !!! I have to take from him, Not give to him ! I am not giving anyone any money, I did not ask him to come to to mangalore, nor did i tell you to tie Rakhi to him !
Me: Let me know who is giving me 500 Rs. I have a bus to catch tonight.
Sister2: Hey give him the money na , I will get my Rakhi gift only if you pay him !
Sister1 : Are you really dumb or ganged up with him to make 500 quick bucks
Sister2: I dont know, I want my Rakhi gift
Me: You girls are mad ! I am out of here.
Sister1 : See you are such a stupid thing ! we both lost 500 Bucks!

Took my Granny to some 13th day function of some old aged lady who is a distant relative and i have no idea who they are !

Random Guy1 : Oh Santosh! Its been so many years since i saw you, you have changed completely ! {so what did you expect, me to stopping growing at the age of 7 so that you can recognize me 20 years later?}

Random Guy2: Oh ! did you recognize me ? {No ! And i dont plant o trouble my memory cell either}

Random Lady1: So you are staying in Bangalore now? How much rent do you pay ?? { Next Lady.. or Next Question please !!!}

But i am so happy i took my granny there, It really made her day and she had not expected in her wildest dreams i will accept her invitation and actually accompany her. My good karma for the day or for the year may be !

Hair Hair Saved

Or as they say, Bal Bal Bach Gaye in Native Indian languages is what happened to Your's Truly today !

We had this all IT team away from office at Manipal County. The whole affair got pretty boring around noon, Heavy lunch may be partly balmed for this, Also no beer ! So 3 of us decided to head out of there and grab a couple of beers.

As we were driving somwhere near BTM layout, My colleague who was driving veered to the left and braked to a standstill at an intersection, and right next to us this huge lorry comes full force and bangs on to another lorry standing ahead to the right of our car, That lorry went and hit the car ahead and the car went on to another Auto or Bike fellow.

It was just a matter of 40-50 Secs, if my good friend had not veered to the left, We would have been in between the two lorries, And looking at the damage the lorry caused to the other lorry it hit, The Santro we were in;Did not stand a chance ! Phew !
Eyememyself had commented on my earlier post that losing footwear brings luck, Well never imagined that one shoe getting stolen would save 3 lives. Thanks "Eye..." :o) how i wish i had lost both of them !
Beer tasted a lot lot better after that, Believe me ! So enjoy every drink :o) You will never know which is your last !

I have heard of Don't Drink and Drive ; Today the reverse was also true, It was as f God was saying " Don't Drive to Drink as well " :o) Par hum toh tehre Besharam !

Moral of the Story : All Office functions,get-togethers, parties should serve Beer, So employees don't leave early to fend for themselves !

And It Happens Again....

First things first, I have crossed 50 blogs , Half century and i dint even realize. I am quite proud of this achievement !

Now back to the point.

About 7 months back, I had all my footwear stolen; Read about it here : and today the most wierd thing has happened. Some guy has flicked one of my reebok sneakers, Ya ! Not the pair, but one shoe ! Dumbass, What will he do with one shoe, And Jerk... What do you expect me to do with the other one ??

My wife thinks its not a thief but some dog who would have carried it away, but i ask is the dog so smart to leave 3 pairs of my her sandals and chappals which were much more accesible and choose my shoe only ? on the same lines as the incident that happened earlier ?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

What is life without you guys?

Here's to us...... Cheers !

Who has the Right Answers?

The Mehtas who are in the news for submitting a plea in Mumbai high court to abort thier 25 week old baby had thier plea rejected yesterday.

Does it end there? Are such questions or situations of life plain black and white? Is this the end really ? Or is this just the begining ?Who is right here?

The parents, who have only good intentions for a child unborn and wish that they dont want to bring to life a baby who in most porbabilities would be plagued with health issues.?

The Judiciary, Who feels this amounts to Euthanasia and should not be provided as an escape from a situation which would have many medical solutions given the available medical options for people who are born with Congenital heart and other health issues ?

Given that the high court has rejected thier plea, it is all but evident now that the baby will be born. The parents and the world can only pray that it has the least suffering if the poor thing really has to undergo the birth defects but hope that the baby comes out hale and hearty and surprises the world, which some doctors have claimed is a possibiity too.

The most astonishing part would be how would the Baby judge all those who are debating what is right for him/her. As and when he/she grows up to an age where it will start understanding and realising the past it carries even before it were born.

If the child is born healthy or with minimal health problems, which are easily corrected with a pace maker or any other medical marvel. Will it thank the Judicial system for giving it a chance to come into this world and experience it firsthand and will it Hold it against its parents? The hard fact that they tried to abort it and did not want to bring it into this world? That they did not want to give it a chance ? Will relations change? Will there be confrontations?

OR

God forbid the child is indeed born with many birth defects that life is more of a punishment than a pleasure. Will the judicial system claim reponsibility for the suffering the young one may have to go through? Will the child question or curse them for not having given the right to its parents to have excerised the extreme step they had embarked to take?

I guess no one will ever have the answers. Or maybe there are no answers.

A Joke That Did not Work .. Part 2

Ok so Back to Me and Mr.I-Don't-Understand-Any-Of-Santosh's-Jokes

(On The terrace having coffee)

HE: Hey Santosh
ME: Hey Man.. Hows life
HE: Cool.. Going On !
HE: Blah Blah Blah...
Me: Blah.. Blah and some more Blah!!
HE: Arey Yaar, Kal Dekha? Surat main baara BUM pakda.
Me: He He ! BUM Pakda???? BUM ?? Baara?? Kisne Pakda??
He: Kisne Pakda Matlab Kya?? Kisne Pakda... Police ya woh Bomb Squad ne pakda hoga
Me: He HE
He: Arey ! Has raha kyon hai be?
Me: He HE Kuch nai... Acha bata Kiska BUM Pakda??
He: Kyyaaaa? Kya Kiska??
Me: Arey Woh Police ne kiska BUM pakda Surat main??
He: Terrorist ka aur kiska !!!
Me: OH! Police ne terrorist ka BUM pakda?? Agar BUM pakad hi liya tha, Toh jaane kyon diya ?? Pura pakdna tha... Sirf BUM kyon Pakda??
He: Tu kya bol raha hai?

BTW, The sad part is Mr.I-Don't-Understand-Any-Of-Santosh's-Jokes is leaving his job here and going elsewhere. So this is the last of the series :o) unles he gives me some golden opportunity in the last few days that he has left here ! Hoping for the best !!

Bombs..Blasts...And a Hobby Gone Bad....

I have a hobby of collecting newspaper headlines. Not everyday news, but news that made headlines. I have the clipping of Indira Gandhi Assasinated, Rajiv Gandhi Assasinated, India winning the World cup, Lord Ganesha Drinking milk, The Bombay bomb Blasts, The Bombay blasts again, and again and again.

If the bombing spree goes on this way, I think i will have to keep everydays frontpage !

While at the point, I also wonder how long and how many times will the same cycle be repeated and how far will we go till we say enough is enough and react. I am just fed up of a few things , rhetoric, statements and News Flash that follow a Bomb-Blast.

• The Prime minister and President have condemned the blasts.
• The Chief minister has asked the public to maintain calm and peace.
• News Flash - Police have released sketches of suspected bomber.
• The News reporter shouting "You are watching these first pictures of the blast site exclusively on our channel"
• The gory images of blast victims that are splashed on the screens, I am sure it would have a huge phsycological impact on many people, specially those who would have either gone through a similar experience themselves, or sadly would have lost one of thier kin.
• Finger pointing by politicians. It is high time we grow up folks !

On a personal level, i have gone beyond getting scared by such incidents, It just does not effect anymore. I guess its just about not being at the wrong place at the wrong time and being happy about it.

My prayers to all those who were affected by the recent events.

and to those who are doing this : MAY YOU ROT IN HELL !

Just Books(1)

Just finished reading The Silent Raga by Ameen Merchant. A good read, Very good actually.

Picked up Is Paris Burning - Larry Collins And Domnique Lapierre.

Only... Only 7 Useless Facts About Me !!!

Picked this Tag from Rajeshwari : Lol I am a TAG-PICKER :o)

1. I hate anything and everything that is to do with numbers, 2 digit multiplication is still a distant dream, Subtraction a nightmare, Addition i manage somehow but i need my time, Divisions i've stopped trying. I have the distinct record of flunking all my Math examinations from 6th Std right untill Preliminary exams of 10th. Scrapped through my Matriculation examination with 98 Marks.... From 150 not 100 :o). But still i consider this as lifes greatest achievement.
2. I have joined the maximum number of courses, vocational courses and not finished them. I have joined MBA coaching, CA Coaching, M.Com at Bombay University, Java at concourse, Oracle RDBMS at SSI and then i lost track.
3. I have read Shantaram 3 Times and Kane and Abel 2 times and seen Andaz Apna Apna fully about 9-10 times.
4. I lost my first salary ! Some chor picked my pocket :-( on a subarbun bus in Bombay.
5. I had a superstition of saying a lil prayer on the 9th step of the staircase when leaving my house in Bombay. This one died a natural death when i left Bombay
6. 4 of my friends have had thier footwear stolen when they accompanied me to the Siddhi-Vinayaka temple in Bombay. My friends stopped coming with me to the temple, They suspect i have a "setting" with the chappal chor gang.
7. I have worn the same wrist watch for 14 years.

Free for all TAG, Do Pick up :o)

Agony Uncle

Couple of weeks back got delayed in office for work[ofcourse for work. What else?] and this happened on the way back home in cab. The radio was tuned to some FM channel,I dont remember which though. And given the late night time the program on air was some sort of "Agony aunt" Or "Love Guru" types. Heard the most stupid, inane Q & A Session.

Dumb Radio Jockey: Heloo.... Who do we have on air now? Hey Hellooooooo
Dumb Female Caller: Hiiiiii, This is Anjana,Hieeee
DRJ: So Anjana, Good Evening so tell me how can i help you..
DFC: Yaaa actually i have a problem.
DRJ: Am Sure.We ll try and help you get over Anjana, tell us about it
DFC: Thankssss
DRJ: Go on
DFC: I am in a relation with this guy, My Boyfriend (Giggling)
DRJ: Okaay ! and...
DFC: Actuallly he beats me.
DRJ: Oh ! As in he beats you up? Physically? Beats you?
DFC: Ya he does and he gets violent for silly reasons
DRJ: So Anjana, tell me how old are you?
DFC: Am 22.
DRJ: And this guy, how old is he?
DFC: He is 26.
DRJ: Ok Here is the thing Anjana, you are a mature girl ok. You should understand that he has got no right to beat you or get violent with you ok.
DFC: yyaaaa i know, so what should i do
DRJ: You need to tell him strongly to stop beating you. OK?
DFC: Ok i will tell him.Thanksss for helping. (giggling)
DRJ: Thats good. So what song can i play for you now?
DFC: "Agar Tum Mil Jaao...Zamana Chodh Denge hum"...
DRJ: And any particular person you want to dedicate this to?
DFC: Ya.. to my Boyfriend.
DRJ: OK Heres... Agar Tum Mil Jaao... going out for you and your boyfriend .. Enjoy !

I Mean ! how dumb, I cant belive the lady actually called to tell the whole world that her boyfriend beats her up and then was satisfied with the stupid solution the RJ gave her ! My guess its all managed, OR some guys call just for TP. What say ?

A Joke That Did not Work !

When a meeting is over, There are two ways that people usually take leave.

• It was nice meeting you Santosh, I will take your leave now. OR
• It was nice meeting you Santosh, I will make a move now.

Today, The third happened, Here is what..

Me: Ok Man, Thats all we have time for. Was a productive hour, What do you say?

He: Ya, sure. My expectations from the meeting are met. Thank you. I will take your move now.

Me: Whaaaaaaat?

He: I am Leaving, Thank you. I will take your move now.

Me: Oh Ok ! Dat way? But i did not bring my moov to office today, its at home, I will bring my moov tomorrow, You can take my moov tomorrow. Ok? **Stupid Grin**

He: What?

Me: Oh Please ! I cant explain the joke to you now. I will make a move now

He: **Stone Faced** **No Clue what just transpired look**

:o) Hope the readers here get the joke ! Also this guy has an uncanny ability to wriggle the english language to make it funny, I had written about him here as well

Foodies

A food extravaganza to discuss lack of food, how Ironic.

http://www.mid-day.com/news/2008/jul/090708world1.htm

Guys if you eat all the food, whats left to discuss :o)

I Am, Who i Am.

Phew! Done with one more Tag.
Usha, you need to stop tagging me so often, My boss gave me an ultimatum today, Either I work for him or work for you to finish your tags :o) Most of the responses below are instinctive, some i had to think and write.

I am: Just another guy trying to carve out a life from mere existence
I think: Sometimes. Most of the times I just do.
I know: that I have intentionally not wronged anyone.
I want: to get over my driving Phobia and Vrooom on the streets of the city!
I have: Good Friends. Great Family.
I wish: I could impress people more often. Most of my tries have been screw-up :-) he he.
I hate: Being misunderstood. But mostly this is the case.
I miss: My college days, my friends, Woh Bara aane ki cigarette shared by 7 people and one rupee ki cutting chai.
I fear: Dogs. Oh Gawd i do. I was chased by 3 huge strays when i was a kiddo and I have never been able to overcome this fear. I would keep a good 20ft distance from any canine
I hear: Noises Between My Ears, I call them thoughts. I write them Here (he he this my blog title from sooo long)
I smell: Burnt Electric cables. Honest, check the blog post previous to this below this.
I crave: For a big change in my life. Change for good of course. I am trying to make this happen too!
I search: My Soul. The Search always comes back with "No Rows Returned" Or "Page Cannot be found"
I wonder: What goes on in the mind of a terrorist who sits and watches the T.V footage of a young child maimed by the bomb they planted.
I regret: A Few things i did, A few things i did not. But nothing so much that i would want to go back and change them.
I love: My Books, My Music, My Beer, My Work. Necessarily in this order, not necessarily in this order when i am writing the truth.
I care: Two hoots about people who back bite, back talk. Etc etc.
I am not: The person people think I am in the first impression. First impressions of people who later became good friends are 1) you are so quiet; we thought you are a snob. etc etc
I believe: Jab Jab jo jo hona hai, Tab tab su su hota hai :-) i mean tab tab so so hota hai ! In short Que Sera Sera
I dance: With three legs
I sing: Along when songs are played on the TV / radio etc, by myself i usually whistle or hum the tunes.
I cry: But usually there are no tears.
I don’t always: Listen to Good Advice. I have a wrong notion that I am smarter than most of the beings who wish me good :-) But I’ve been proved so wrong so many times !
I fight: wHere it does not matter who wins.
I write: The nonsense, you good people are reading right now.
I win: Without cheating.
I lose: At gambling. Every time I have tried I have lost, Even in Vegas. Vegas owes me 44 USD.
I never: Give up. Unless I have tried and failed.
I always: Call a Spade a Spade. Well not because I want to, else how will you know if I am talking about a Spade?
I confuse: Left with Right and Right with Left ALWAYS. Good in a way that I have this driving phobia nai :-)
I listen: To Hindi Film Music. At least 4-5 hours a day. Current track on my laptop is "Maula Mere Maula" from Anwar.
I can usually be found: Biting my nails.
I am scared: That one day all this will be over.
I need: To switch on the search lights. Get some focus, Pause and re-start.
I am happy about: The fact that life has been good. So far so Good

It was so much fun doing this one. Thanks Usha. As usual I do not tag anyone in particular, but whoever reads this, should be doing this one. !

Reality Bytes

I've realised today that.....

• Not all the stupid jokes that i try go well with people, the blog post below this is one example. I cant believe most of you could not get the joke. NO ! Please dont ask me to explain. I hate that.
• Not replying to comments that you good people leave on my blog is a rude thing to do, and that people do not come back to blogs where comments are not replied to. Boo hoo ! I promise to be good, will reply to all the comments from now on. Please dont leave me !
• Not all people, for whom you intend only good,realise this fact. Its so sad that they dont trust you even when you mean no harm.
• Some people help, atleast attempt to help no matter what. Some people listen no matter what.
• I can manage talking in Kannada for a good 10 minutes, thats about till my word stocks last, and then i have to give up and switch to hindi or english.
• Free credit cards are available for 5000/- :-) Honest..No Jokes. Contact Barclays bank for further details.
• Girls are in a a clear majority, where my blog readership is concerned. No ! This is not a complaint :-) Just a realisation, Dont run away !!!! Please let all your friends know about my blog too :-)
• I have 4 tags pending, i think i am gonna outsource this, or delegate this. whatever is cheaper.
• Last, final and most recent realization for the day. There is smoke coming out of the electric junction near the water cooler couple of metres away from my desk, and the smoke detectors are doing nothing but sniffing the smoke. Saale Is office main sabhi Kamachor hain :-)

Tidbits (1)

Q : Why do i prefer buying a bottle of Bisleri over buying any juice from the juice counter in my office ???
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A : I get more water for lesser price.

Better Late then Ever !!!

What is it about me and being early; I am early even when I am late.

Today I walked in to a video conference room at 2.10 for a meeting scheduled at 2.00 and Lo! I am the first one to walk into that empty room. And then within the next 3 minutes the whole room is abuzz! Where were all of them till 2.09? Hiding somewhere and waiting for me to get in? By the way, it’s not only about this meeting its true for any conference call that I am invited to. When I dial in I hear " Please Wait while the chair person arrives" And If on some occasion where I am the invitee I hear " you are the first participant to join the call ; Please Wait"

#$@!# Am I born to wait?

I think I have a reputation. I have waited for friends below the platform # 1 indicator when in Bombay for so long; I guess many would have thought I live there. I reach huffing and puffing, feeling guilty as hell for being about 5-7 mins late only to find there is no one there, and within the next couple of minutes or hours they all start trickling one by one! I have never had the privilege to keep people waiting, as hard as I try they try harder and Darn it but they always win!

Once I reached for my friends engagement venue to see an empty hall, Amazed and embarrassed I called him to know that he is still at home and yet to start for the venue.

Am telling you folks! It’s all a big conspiracy the world’s playing on me! And all my friends and colleagues from through out the world are deeply involved in this.

I won’t let them get me….. I WILL BE LATE NEXT TIME!!!!! You just wait… :o)

Tidbits....

Read this behind a car yesterday :

"If You Are Able To Read This ; I Am Not Drunk"

Heard this from a colleague today; not sure if he made this up or happened really:

He read an Advt on some property website " 2 bed room Kitchen available for rent, Only 2800/-.
He rushed to occupy it and seems there were actually 2 Beds, one room and one kitchen "

Book List

Got this from Pranjal's blog ; Liked it and picked up straight away.

Bold - ones I've read
Underlined - ones I read for school
Italicized - ones I started but didn't finish

Addendum
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
ATale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
OliverTwist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes : a memoir
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything - SorryMr. Bryson
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaghterhouse-five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
In Cold Blood : a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield

Conclusion :
1) I am ashamed at the number of books i left unfinished
2) Thanks to Pranjal ; I have a huge book list to choose from!

Once again, This is not a tag but whoever reads this and "reads" should do this !

Its All About 5... Unlucky People....

The word Hate got absorbed in my psyche about the time Algebra was introduced in the school curriculum, till such time I was oblivious to this very basic human feeling. I had only love to give and share to one and all. But when math became algebra; i.e numbers became alphabets, 1,2,3 became a,b,c ; I was expected to prove that a=b and B for reasons yet unknown to me can never be equal to C. I started to nurture hatred, hatred so wild, so potent it consumed me and had grave and unmentionable effects on my math teachers too. It all started with hating the subject, then it grew, grew enough for me to be able to hate another fellow human, the Math’s teacher(s). It was then under unavoidable circumstances; a guy whose names denotes love, satisfaction, happiness was forced to Hate, and he uttered the 3 golden words. I HATE MATHS.

From humble beginnings, my association with hate and hatred as grown, the list has grown longer and longer and keeps growing. Now it has reached such a peak that brown girls in the ring have started TAGGING me to spit fire about the people I hate, and the loving and kind hearted soul that I am, just could not decline.

At a very subtle level, I have begun to hate the following people, acts, or behavior not necessarily in the order in which it’s written here.

I Hate : People who jump queues, People who come late into a cinema hall and search for seats and take their own sweet time to settle down, Auto drivers of Bangalore in general, People who misuse money if it doesn’t belong to them; specially if its office money, People who do not respect others time ; come late and giggle!, who give advice on every topic as if they have solutions to every problem others have, People who associate respect with wealth, who write “ I LOVE SUNITA OR I LOVE SUNIL on heritage sites ; etc etc etc.

But to render justice to the TAG requested, I need to dig deeper into my hearts chamber of hatred and come up with the list of the TOP 5 … Ahem Ahem

1.They say it takes years to build trust and seconds to break it. Sometimes in our lives even we ourselves are at fault, for reasons unknown to us, or reasons beyond our control we end up breaking the trust that someone would have placed on us. But then there are people who come into our lives with a reason, they play around you, with you and then Poof! When the deed is done, the cow is milked; they would hardly even recognize you. The harm that these species do is not restricted to that particular relation or association, but it leaves a far deeper scar in our trusting instincts. We end up not trusting in general and makes the whole society a place where suspicion is the first thing that creeps in whenever a new relation, friendship, or simple commradare is about to happen. Questions like ….
Hmm why is he helping me so much? Does he/she have a personal interest in this? No one does anything for anyone without seeking some gain out of it… better not trust him/her and go for it alone.

2.Marriages are made in heaven; but dowries are paid on earth. I hate from the bottom of my heart the guys who put a price on themselves and sell themselves as part of matrimony and also some of these creepy leeches have the cheek to say “ I dint want dowry, my dad forced me” I fail to understand how these guys can use the money, appliances that would have come as part of dowry. All those cars, washing machines etc; I hope they go out of warranty as soon they start using it! The worst kind whom I hate more than anything else are those who are not satisfied with the first installment and the demand more and more again and again, and go the extent of wife-beating or even killing. Are they “Men”??

3.People have to have a point of view, People ought to respect others point of views. Then there are these who think there is only one point of view in no matter what, and it is theirs. There are no two sides for a debate, actually with these guys there is only one side, there is scope for dialogues, there are only monologues. They can rant on and on about something and make you feel you are invisible, or whenever they let you talk, its only to ensure you are listening, once they have this confirmation they start off again. I hate coming across such people, but sadly they are abundant.

4.I can’t eat non-veg today; today is Saturday, I can’t drink today; today is Tuesday. Bloody Crap. I hate the pseudo-religious junta. Either you do the stuff that your religion prevents you from doing or you don’t. Simple! You cant create conveniences to work around all the prohibitions. I have seen people waiting desperately for the clock to tick 12.00 in the night, so Tuesday becomes Wednesday and he can start gulping beer.

5.Last but not the least, the species I have never met, but I hope and pray the cease to exist; I can understand murderers or killers who killed for revenge or for the reason that someone would have wronged them, or even if they stand to gain directly from their death. Even though it’s a heinous thing to do; I would say ok atleast he/she had a personal motive atleast they had the courage in them to face the person they are killing and look in their eye. But I hate these guys, cowards who keep bombs and vanish; killing and maiming hundreds of people. These are the only people I hate so much, I wish and pray they die a same painful, ungrateful death.

There! I am done… I feel so much better :-) And now to passing the buck, I know of only 5 people who read my blog regularly ; I TAG YOU !!! :-)

Smiles and Frowns

• Read this sign board on the Bangalore-Mysore highway." Learn Unlimited English. 500 Rs only"
• Bangalore Traffic Sucks. Elections should happen once in 100 years.
• Me to a colleague. "Buddy coming for lunch ?" He : No man you carry on, I recently had breakfast !
• Bangalore Traffic sucks. Offices should be walking distance from home
• Read this sign board near Cox town, "A-one class paying guest accomodation available. Male members only. Andhra style" I wonder what they do Andhra style :-)
• Bangalore traffic sucks. They should let us work alternate days.
• Overheard at office. A guy to a female. " I Can't open it: Can you please ZIP it again properly?" I wonder if he would be still working tomorrow, or facing harrasment charges.
• Bangalore Traffic sucks. Our cabs should function the same way like outstation buses do. They should stop en-route for snacks, at TOILETS etc.
• Nobody is ever happy after appraisals {Wink Wink}
• And ya of course, How can i forget, Bangalore traffic sucks !

Team Work !

Was present in a meeting room with one of my friends when he was meeting his sales team, It never fails to amaze me how each one has a disticntly unique excuse for a task not done. I guess this is some thing we imbibe in our insticts from our school days from our replies to teachers for the ever dreaded question of, Have you done your homework !
He entered the meeting room, and asked for the status on the task assigned
Member 1 : I was not aware even i had to do this.
Member 2 : I was very busy
Member 3 : Silence is the best policy
Member 4 : I was on leave for 4 days , else i would have done
Member 5 : I started to do, but then you sent some other mail so i got confused and stopped
Member 6 : I was not present in the last meeting.
Member 7 : Sorry
Member 8 , 9 and 10 : He winked at me did not bother asking :-)

Entertainment ?

If a guy injures himself, ends up in excruciating pain and has to be rushed to the hospital for further tests; What does it mean to us? A matter or concern? or Entertainment?

Well if the person in question is none other than the BIG-B ; It is entertainment all right ! Check out this news clip from Mid-Day ; an Injured, in pain, Aby Baby is rushed to the hospital and they put this news clip in the entertainment section.

Etiquette ! My Foot !

I learnt this a couple of days back, It seems it is not good Etiquette to refer to a Toilet as a Toilet in front of ladies! It should be referred to as a "Restroom" .

Why? I ask! I dont use the TOILET to rest; I wont call it a "Restroom". I will call it anything Sauchalaya, Loo, John, or some other explicit terms but not "Restroom", specially when that lady who told me this would be around. :-) Hope she reads this !

Being Rao !

I don’t remember anyone calling me by name till a few years back, I always felt my surname had an advantage over my name and my name always got sidetracked. Throughout my school days, college life, Friends, foes, guy in my housing colony always called me RAO. It had reached such levels that even when the neighbors dog barked “Bow Bow” It sounded like “ Raoww Raoww” to me

Then suddenly it all changed, when I started working, The RAO factor declined and I got identity as Santosh ! I admit it was difficult in the initial days, some guy and sometime girls too would be calling me by my name and it would hardly catch my attention, Some assumed I had a hearing defect and suggested therapy!

Now if you are still reading my name saga and wondering why I am digressing so much on this name, Surname thing, Wait Wait I am getting to the point!

Today a guy in office came rushing to me! Here is what followed

He: Hey Santosh, You are a Manglorean Rao? Haaaaaaa????
Me Thinking: Eh ! Why this sudden interest in my surname ?
Me: Yaaaawwwn ! Ya why ?

He: I always thought you are an Andhra Rao
Me Thinking: so you people differentiate Raos ?
Me: No I am from Mangalore.

He: Wow That’s great yaa !
Me Thinking: Really? I never knew being a mangalorean Rao is a big deal!
Me: Yaaaawwwwaaaannnnn OK !

He: GSB ha ?
Me Thinking: isn’t there one god in the 1 crore collection that we have who is listening to this conversation who will please help me?
Me: Ya GSB

He: That’s good man !
Me Thinking: Really? I never got any advantage from anywhere, no teacher gave me passing marks, no company promoted me before time, I do not get extra bonus here to be a GSB!
Me: Sir! If you are acting on behalf of someone to arrange holy matrimony for a GSB girl, Let me tell you even GSB’s are allowed only one marriage and I have already had my share! So please don’t tread that line !

He: No Man !
Me Thinking: Are we done?
Me: Thanks

Me: You came all the way to talk to me because you found out from somewhere that I am a Rao and a GSB?
Me: Really ? You came just for that ?
He: Yes man ! aren’t you proud of being a GSB?
Me Thinking : Whaaaaat !!!!
Me: Never really thought about it that way !

Me: Are you disappointed in me? :-)
He: No ! Nothing like that !
Me: Ok See you around then !
He: Ok Man bye !

I am still in surprise that a chap came over to my desk and had this whole conversation around being Rao and a GSB ! Suddenly the surname took precedence over my name again ! Also, realized people have too much time to waste in office and on such things? That’s a killer !!!

Busy Man !

I urgently wanted to speak on something with one of my colleague yesterday, he was not picking my call at all, So sent him this SMS "Please call me back urgently,need to speak to you" This is what he replied back " DO NOT DISTURB for the next 3-4 hours, i am very busy sleeping in a very important meeting.Tks" :-)

India Shining

On my way to the Bombay airport in a Rickshaw had this conversation with the Auto Driver
Me : Airport ?
He : Domestic ya international ?
Me : Domestic, Abhi meri foreign jaane ki aukad nai hai.
He : Smiles

3 mins pause

He : Aap ka waha se plane hai kya ?
Me : Nahi ! Train hai, abh naya chalu hua hai !
He : Smiles

2 Mins pause

He : Kahan ka plane hai ?
Me : Banglaore !
He : Kitna kilometer hai Banglaore yahan se
Me : Tere rickshaw main jaayenge toh 30000 aayge meter pe, ab tu hisaab laga.
He : Smiles

3 Mins Pause

He : Kitna Waqt Lagta hai yahan se wahan
Me : Traffic nai raha toh 1.30 hours, signal pe atak gaya toh jyada bhi lag sakta hai !
He : Smiles

2 mins pause

He : Ticket kitne ka lagta hai?
Me : 3000 se 5000 tak ka hai.
He : Haan hamara bhi Lucknow ka 23oo lag gaya ek jan ka, Agle mahine meri beti ko bhej raha hu Lucknow, hamare khandan main se aaj tak kisine plane nai dekha hai, jisne bhi dekha hai, usne hawe main hi dekha hai! Kisi kisi ne toh hawe main bhi nahi dekha hoga!! Humri beti toh har plane dekhti hai aur agle mahine ka intejar kar rahi hai.

Amazing! India well and truly shining :-)

This is life

Remember these amazing dialogues ?
"Yeh Kya Ho Raha Hai....."
" Lagaam.... Lagaaaam"
"30 Years ka experience hai"
" Oh ! What a Relieeeeef !!!"

Relived all these memories from the amazing sitcom of 1984, all the discussions we had about the previous weeks episode in school recess time ! saw this VCD at a store and grabbed it !

Am talking about ! YEH JO HAI ZINDAGI :-)

Code Word FM

I have been observing this for the past few days, will do so for a few more days. If the results are positive it would mean that me and the cab driver connect at a deep level, Else whatever is happening is pure co-incidence.

Every day i am the first one to get picked up in the Indicab. The FM radio is switched off. I open up a book and start reading. After about 10 mins two more guys get picked up. The FM is still not on.

At this point all the usual stupid coversation that everyone is having just for the heck of it starts, Hey Man ! how are you ! Saw the match ? Etc etc ! And then there is the usual between the conversation silence. The FM is still off.

I start humming a song, any song. ***Wooooosh***** the cabbie moves in a flash and switches on the Radio. I WONDER WHY !!!!! Below is what my deep analysis has led me to believe.

1) He feels am a horrible singer and thinks whatever crap the radio plays is better than even letting me hum !!!
2) The moment he hears me singing, he is reminded that his cab also has a radio.
3) He actually waits for my signal and thinks it is some sort of a good omen!

This has happened continously for more than a week now ! and i am not gonna break this tradition. From tomorrow i am gonna plan which song i am gonna hum too :-)

I Salute Thee Captain Sunil

For all of us who have a bad day at office and crib at it no length. Read this.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Sena_medal_officer_dies_fighting_Ulfa/articleshow/2735951.cms

With all respect to Captain Sunil, who did not even live to celebrate the gallantary award bestowed on him on republic day.

Happy Republic Day

Some guy excerised the fundamental right to steal that the indian constitution has granted us. I opened the door of my house today to see that some guy has flicked away all my footwear, yes each one of them. I am shoeless in Bangalore today. I wonder what made him leave away all my wives footwear untouched. Probably he is scared of her too :-)

And to you Mr. Thief. You will get a couple of boils on your feet in the coming days, you ll repent stealing my shoes. And yes, just one request, next time you decide on flicking someones shoes, atleast leave behind a pair of slippers so we have something to wear to go out and buy new pairs. JERK !

Heres wishing you all a very Happy Republic Day !

Gaddi De Peeche

Read this very interesting social message behind a truck in whitefield yesterday

Save Water. Wear Helmet

Hmm..Nice social message there. But am still wondering how we can save water by wearing a helmet. Any ideas ???

Down the Memory Lane!

Somebody TAGGED me last week with a request to write about the list given below. He/She also mentioned that it will bring bad luck if I do not write within 7 days of receiving the tag. Now, not wanting to call more luck issues than I already have, I decided I will work against the clock and meet the deadline. So yours truly has written a part of this blog sitting in the office cab with curious eyes hovering around and also assuming that I am soooo overloaded with work!

Here goes.

What is the oldest / first memory you carry of :

Of your Mother : I stretched my memory to the limits and the earliest I could reach was a memory of mom sitting with me on the bed making me do my homework must be my 2nd or 3rd standard. There were books thrown all around, and I distinctly remember a scale in her hand as well.

Of crying : Of me being chased by a few dogs in the colony and running back home crying like mad. I still fear dogs!

Of your father : This will tell people how selfish I am! I am somewhere in my primary school and my school starts only in the noon. I want to take the press button umbrella to school and not wear a raincoat. It was raining the morning when Dad leaves for office, but I did not let him take his umbrella, I am not very sure now but I guess he would have reached office soaked to the skin. I took the umbrella to school that day. God punished my selfish day by making that noon the sunniest noon of the monsoon that year! Yeah! I protected myself from the sun just to be able to use it in front of my friends!

Of School : Me Picking up my watermelon shaped water bottle from the shelf. May be 1st standard. I am so surprised this stupid memory is of a earlier date probably than that I have of my mom!!!! Damn me!!!

Of a fight: Me and another guy from my housing colony in Bombay coming to blows over who would ride double seat with one of the older boys of the colony on his “Gear wala” cycle ! I don’t remember either of the guys name. I remember going home with blood on my shirt and bleeding lips.

Of a lie you told: I Flunked in four subjects in my 6th standard and told mom and dad that I flunked only in one. As foolish as I could be. The Lie was bound to be short lived and I was royally jacked when I had to get the marks card signed. I remember not being talked to by mom and dad for more than couple of days!

Of a vacation : Kashmir with my family. Don’t remember the year. But I surely do not remember any earlier vacation.

Of laughing : All of us cousins sitting in the lawn of my Grandpas house in Mangalore and laughing like devils for no rhyme or reason. Must be about 9-10 years old!

Of a class-mate : His name is Don. That’s all I remember. Hey Don :-) If you are reading this.. Remember me??

Of a relative : This one is crystal clear needed no digging in the brains. Of my Mothers younger brother. I so distinctly remember him carrying me to see their new house that was under construction in Mangalore. I even remember him making me sit on the wall as he was talking to the workers there. I guess this makes it to Number one position in the oldest memory I have as a person !!!!

Of a Teacher : Sinha Teacher. 1st standard. I remember her face. I will be able to spot her even today in a crowd!

Of your Brother / Sister : My brother and me shouting together “Maaaaammmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” from below our building to call mom from our 3rd floor house in Bombay. Must be 8-9 years here too!

There! Am I a lousy person? To not have earlier than this memories of parents or family?? Whatever!!!!!

Honestly in a way I enjoyed doing this, brought back some nice fond memories and exercised the brains too. I now TAG the millions of people who read my blog to try writing on the same topic. !!

And you, whoever tagged me, Hope you are happy now!