Friday, October 5, 2007

Sun Signed.

Clicking on “Also read” links of some of the friends list I reached this place where a guy has a wonderfully amazing write-up on the zodiac sign prediction column writers in newspapers and magazines, It was so weird that I had thought of the exact same things he has written over there a couple of days back.

Now we all know for a fact that every sane person on this earth hates his or her job most of the time, does this chap hate his job too. I mean all a zodiac sun sign writer has to do is come into office; write twelve blocks of texts and leave? Nice eh?
I would love to have this job, but then I think he would love to have mine too?

He is so bound by boundaries, he cannot go beyond 12 signs can he? No matter how creative he feels on any particular day, he cannot go and create a couple of more sun-signs and satisfy his creative urges can he? STICK TO 12 No matter what!!!

Also some of these columns are daily, I guess these are the better lot.Some are weekly, some are monthly; I mean 12 predictions jumbled here and there across all the signs and I’m done for the month, can I get my pay check please?? Cool Job, No pressure, am sure no customer reading that prediction which went wrong would have walked in to the magazine or newspaper office asking for the writers head.

What is bad day at office for them? Just not being able to predict for Leo and Cancer?

Coffee machine conversation in a magazine office.

Zodiac writer: Man, just not able to figure out what to predict for Leo and cancer for tomorrow, have already mixed and matched all the good things for the other ten signs. Am I having a writer’s bloc? Dude I hope this is temporary... Can’t continue this way for long, appraisal is due next month and boss would rub this in for sure!

Fellow colleague: Don’t worry! Am sure it’s just a phase, remember the other writer also had the same problem couple of months back, but she’s firing all guns now.

Zodiac writer: Really? How, what did she do?

Fellow colleague: Nothing, she just took up a temporary assignment as ‘Agony aunt’ and listening to all the problems and the solutions she had new ideas on giving predictions once again, you should try something similar..


Now to the most important part of any career! Appraisals, Increments, Bonuses. What qualifies the performance ratings for these people, how are objectives set for these futur predicting guys.

Objective sheet:


  • Number of times you write the same prediction for two different sun signs on the same day ! If you do this more than twice a month, BAD Rating ?
  • Number of times you repeat the same prediction for different sun signs within a given time-period! you do this more than once a month, No BONUS !

Appraisal discussion

Manager: Buddy, your performance over the past quarter has not been so good; I hope you are aware of that.

Writer: Oh ya! Just read my prediction for my sun-sign for the today, Heated arguments with seniors expected, Money may not come your way easily. How close can anyone get to that boss?

Manager: Well, we are here to discuss consistency and not a one off on target prediction, your goof ups and repetitive predictions have been given me nightmares. I have letters from readers of the magazine that the zodiac sign column is clichéd.

Writer: Anyway, there is hardly any room for creativity; you have set strict boundaries which I am not allowed to transcend. I had once written “People committing adultery would get caught red-handed today” and that day one of the top boss of this magazine was actually caught getting naughty with his secretary and all the right people in this office kicked me in all the wrong places, my backside still pains sometimes.
This is the best anyone can do, and I can’t get any better than this.

Manager: Well if it gives some solace to you, be happy that your prediction for your sun sign is coming out to be true today, Money will really be hard to come by your way chap !

Writer: Whatever, be sure you read my predictions for your sun-sign tomorrow!!!!!

2 comments:

Sneha said...

Cool one!!

Usha said...

haha! sure, these guys must be getting negative points for 'innovation' in their appraisals!

btw, um still reeling under d fear caused by some idiot's prediction dat there could be a road accident lurking around d corner n waiting for me this fortnight!