A Joke That Did not Work .. Part 2

Ok so Back to Me and Mr.I-Don't-Understand-Any-Of-Santosh's-Jokes

(On The terrace having coffee)

HE: Hey Santosh
ME: Hey Man.. Hows life
HE: Cool.. Going On !
HE: Blah Blah Blah...
Me: Blah.. Blah and some more Blah!!
HE: Arey Yaar, Kal Dekha? Surat main baara BUM pakda.
Me: He He ! BUM Pakda???? BUM ?? Baara?? Kisne Pakda??
He: Kisne Pakda Matlab Kya?? Kisne Pakda... Police ya woh Bomb Squad ne pakda hoga
Me: He HE
He: Arey ! Has raha kyon hai be?
Me: He HE Kuch nai... Acha bata Kiska BUM Pakda??
He: Kyyaaaa? Kya Kiska??
Me: Arey Woh Police ne kiska BUM pakda Surat main??
He: Terrorist ka aur kiska !!!
Me: OH! Police ne terrorist ka BUM pakda?? Agar BUM pakad hi liya tha, Toh jaane kyon diya ?? Pura pakdna tha... Sirf BUM kyon Pakda??
He: Tu kya bol raha hai?

BTW, The sad part is Mr.I-Don't-Understand-Any-Of-Santosh's-Jokes is leaving his job here and going elsewhere. So this is the last of the series :o) unles he gives me some golden opportunity in the last few days that he has left here ! Hoping for the best !!

Bombs..Blasts...And a Hobby Gone Bad....

I have a hobby of collecting newspaper headlines. Not everyday news, but news that made headlines. I have the clipping of Indira Gandhi Assasinated, Rajiv Gandhi Assasinated, India winning the World cup, Lord Ganesha Drinking milk, The Bombay bomb Blasts, The Bombay blasts again, and again and again.

If the bombing spree goes on this way, I think i will have to keep everydays frontpage !

While at the point, I also wonder how long and how many times will the same cycle be repeated and how far will we go till we say enough is enough and react. I am just fed up of a few things , rhetoric, statements and News Flash that follow a Bomb-Blast.

• The Prime minister and President have condemned the blasts.
• The Chief minister has asked the public to maintain calm and peace.
• News Flash - Police have released sketches of suspected bomber.
• The News reporter shouting "You are watching these first pictures of the blast site exclusively on our channel"
• The gory images of blast victims that are splashed on the screens, I am sure it would have a huge phsycological impact on many people, specially those who would have either gone through a similar experience themselves, or sadly would have lost one of thier kin.
• Finger pointing by politicians. It is high time we grow up folks !

On a personal level, i have gone beyond getting scared by such incidents, It just does not effect anymore. I guess its just about not being at the wrong place at the wrong time and being happy about it.

My prayers to all those who were affected by the recent events.

and to those who are doing this : MAY YOU ROT IN HELL !

Just Books(1)

Just finished reading The Silent Raga by Ameen Merchant. A good read, Very good actually.

Picked up Is Paris Burning - Larry Collins And Domnique Lapierre.

Only... Only 7 Useless Facts About Me !!!

Picked this Tag from Rajeshwari : Lol I am a TAG-PICKER :o)

1. I hate anything and everything that is to do with numbers, 2 digit multiplication is still a distant dream, Subtraction a nightmare, Addition i manage somehow but i need my time, Divisions i've stopped trying. I have the distinct record of flunking all my Math examinations from 6th Std right untill Preliminary exams of 10th. Scrapped through my Matriculation examination with 98 Marks.... From 150 not 100 :o). But still i consider this as lifes greatest achievement.
2. I have joined the maximum number of courses, vocational courses and not finished them. I have joined MBA coaching, CA Coaching, M.Com at Bombay University, Java at concourse, Oracle RDBMS at SSI and then i lost track.
3. I have read Shantaram 3 Times and Kane and Abel 2 times and seen Andaz Apna Apna fully about 9-10 times.
4. I lost my first salary ! Some chor picked my pocket :-( on a subarbun bus in Bombay.
5. I had a superstition of saying a lil prayer on the 9th step of the staircase when leaving my house in Bombay. This one died a natural death when i left Bombay
6. 4 of my friends have had thier footwear stolen when they accompanied me to the Siddhi-Vinayaka temple in Bombay. My friends stopped coming with me to the temple, They suspect i have a "setting" with the chappal chor gang.
7. I have worn the same wrist watch for 14 years.

Free for all TAG, Do Pick up :o)

Agony Uncle

Couple of weeks back got delayed in office for work[ofcourse for work. What else?] and this happened on the way back home in cab. The radio was tuned to some FM channel,I dont remember which though. And given the late night time the program on air was some sort of "Agony aunt" Or "Love Guru" types. Heard the most stupid, inane Q & A Session.

Dumb Radio Jockey: Heloo.... Who do we have on air now? Hey Hellooooooo
Dumb Female Caller: Hiiiiii, This is Anjana,Hieeee
DRJ: So Anjana, Good Evening so tell me how can i help you..
DFC: Yaaa actually i have a problem.
DRJ: Am Sure.We ll try and help you get over Anjana, tell us about it
DFC: Thankssss
DRJ: Go on
DFC: I am in a relation with this guy, My Boyfriend (Giggling)
DRJ: Okaay ! and...
DFC: Actuallly he beats me.
DRJ: Oh ! As in he beats you up? Physically? Beats you?
DFC: Ya he does and he gets violent for silly reasons
DRJ: So Anjana, tell me how old are you?
DFC: Am 22.
DRJ: And this guy, how old is he?
DFC: He is 26.
DRJ: Ok Here is the thing Anjana, you are a mature girl ok. You should understand that he has got no right to beat you or get violent with you ok.
DFC: yyaaaa i know, so what should i do
DRJ: You need to tell him strongly to stop beating you. OK?
DFC: Ok i will tell him.Thanksss for helping. (giggling)
DRJ: Thats good. So what song can i play for you now?
DFC: "Agar Tum Mil Jaao...Zamana Chodh Denge hum"...
DRJ: And any particular person you want to dedicate this to?
DFC: Ya.. to my Boyfriend.
DRJ: OK Heres... Agar Tum Mil Jaao... going out for you and your boyfriend .. Enjoy !

I Mean ! how dumb, I cant belive the lady actually called to tell the whole world that her boyfriend beats her up and then was satisfied with the stupid solution the RJ gave her ! My guess its all managed, OR some guys call just for TP. What say ?

A Joke That Did not Work !

When a meeting is over, There are two ways that people usually take leave.

• It was nice meeting you Santosh, I will take your leave now. OR
• It was nice meeting you Santosh, I will make a move now.

Today, The third happened, Here is what..

Me: Ok Man, Thats all we have time for. Was a productive hour, What do you say?

He: Ya, sure. My expectations from the meeting are met. Thank you. I will take your move now.

Me: Whaaaaaaat?

He: I am Leaving, Thank you. I will take your move now.

Me: Oh Ok ! Dat way? But i did not bring my moov to office today, its at home, I will bring my moov tomorrow, You can take my moov tomorrow. Ok? **Stupid Grin**

He: What?

Me: Oh Please ! I cant explain the joke to you now. I will make a move now

He: **Stone Faced** **No Clue what just transpired look**

:o) Hope the readers here get the joke ! Also this guy has an uncanny ability to wriggle the english language to make it funny, I had written about him here as well

Foodies

A food extravaganza to discuss lack of food, how Ironic.

http://www.mid-day.com/news/2008/jul/090708world1.htm

Guys if you eat all the food, whats left to discuss :o)